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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4316285" data-attributes="member: 14320">Oral Sex - An Ode To LoveSalty, fishy, sticky stuff,Okay already, that's enough.Let's switch you say, before you gag,And what revenge, you're on the rag!Eating out and chowing down,but tonight I'm not out on the town.Tonight I'm served a seafood dish,well at the least it tastes like fish.Time to overcome my fears,as she drags me down there by my ears,to feast upon her hairy pie,where pubes and stubble jab my eye.She lies back and moans and then softly sighs,I cant help thinking about scampi & fries.Don't lick too low, move up a bit,got to be careful or I'm in the shit.Nibble, lick, caress and stroke,the things I do just for a poke.Up, down and right a bit,where the hell does she keep her clit?I'll never find it here like this,fanny design just takes the piss.To find my way around her twat,I'll need a torch and miners hat.I think my tongue is failing me,Christ I hope she doesn't pee.I've been licking her minge for years.I wish I could breathe through my ears.God I hope that she comes quick,since my neck's developing a crick.I'm sweating like I've got a fever,under the covers, eating split beaver,I must have hit the right spot at last,cos' her screams are gaining volume fast,her thighs clamp tight around my head,and her screams scare the neighbours out of their bed.She's coming at last and making a racket,her thighs crushing my head like a discarded fag packet.I'm choking and spluttering but she doesn't care,that my mouth is full of fish flavoured hair.And that my face is smothered in thick fanny batterand juices that taste like a seafood platter.But she thinks it's funny, and starts taking the piss,but she soon stops her laughing, when I move in for a kiss. Sex - The Mob WayOther than the rule about certain sexual acts being unmanly, the#1 ruleabout having sex is pretty simple: -- Your partner should be alive and, atleast 50% of the time, awake.Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Mob Lover?1. During sex you usuallya. Scream out your partners nameb. Plead the Fifth Amendmentc. Scream out your own name2. Sex is besta. With the lights onb. With the lights offc. With the dashboard lights on3. If your partner pulls a Nelson Rockefeller and dies while in thesaddle, your immediate reaction is toa. Scream and roll offb. Call 911c. Finish4. Your lover suggests something innovative, like handcuffs.Your reaction is to:a. Try it, you might like itb. Announce politely that handcuffs are not your thingc. Wonder how you can use the TV remote during sex if you arehandcuffed5. Your partners are usuallya. Blondeb. Brunettec. Inflatable6. After sex youa. Think about how long until you can make love againb. Hang up on the phone sex operatorc. Thank the priestA middle aged husband and wife were havingsex in the missionary position. Fifteen minutes wentby. Thirty. Forty-five. Finally, the wife blurted out, "What's the matter,honey, can't you fantasize about someone else, either?"</blockquote>

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