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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4313039" data-attributes="member: 14320">Special SandalsThis married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring aroundthe marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed thissmall sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaicanaccent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have somespecial sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild atsex."Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after whatthe man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, beingthe sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals makeyou into a sex freak?"The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Man. "Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got thiswild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years! Inthe blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent himviolently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his ownpants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!! YOUGOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"_________________________________My missus, back when we were young,Asked the doctor to fix her torn lung;When asked how it ripped,She replied as she stripped,"Doc, that man I just married is hung!"There once was a girl from DecaturWho got laid by a big alligator.Now, nobody knew,The result of that screw,Because after he laid her, he ate her.Fake PussyA guy visited his friend's house and saw a rubber object on the lounge, so he asked his mate what it was."It's an artificial pussy," his mate replied, "And it's the best fuck I have ever had!""Bullshit!" cackled the other guy, "A fake pussy your best screw? You gotta be joking!""Don't believe me? Why don't you take it home and give it a try then?" said his friend.The guy took the fake pussy home, tried it out, and found out it was true. It was the best screw of his entire life.Later that day, the guy's wife walked into the kitchen and saw the rubber object on the table."What's that?" she asked."It's an artificial pussy and it's the best fuck I have ever had in my life!" replied the husband"If it's so good," asked the wife, "What is it doing in the kitchen?""Well," said the guy, "As soon as I teach it to cook I am going to get rid of you!"NNNNNA woman was drying herself off in the shower when she suddenly slipped over and landed spread-eagled on the bathroom floor. She tried to stand up again but then she realized that she had landed so hard that her pussy had stuck to the floor, creating such a vacuum that she couldn't move.She called out to her husband for help, and he rushed in and tried with all his strength to lift her up, but she just wouldn't budge.So he went next door and got the neighbor. Both of them started pulling her arms with all their strength, but she just wouldn't budge, she was well and truly stuck fast!Suddenly the neighbor said, "Why don't we just get a hammer and break the tiles around her pussy?""Great idea pal," said the husband, "but just let me rub her tits a little so that I can then push her over to the kitchen, the tiles are a lot cheaper in there!"</blockquote>

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