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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4309159" data-attributes="member: 14320">LADIES....PAY ATTENTION!!Newly Discovered Benefits of Worshiping And Adoring Your Man's Penis1) Every blow job you give adds one month to your life.2) If you swallow, the protein ingested is equivalent to fiveporterhouse steaks - but contains only 150 calories.3) A hand job a day keeps arthritis away.4) Every ten minutes of dry humping is equivalent to ten minutes on thetreadmill.5) Doing it doggie-style will erase crow's feet and wrinkles.6) Intercourse prevents divorce.7) Regular fucking releases Vitamin F, which increases the number ofbrain cells.8) Sex eliminates headaches.9) Obeying the Eleventh Commandment, Thou shalt make thy manhard, triples your chances of getting into heaven.10) Inviting an attractive female friend into bed with you and yourlover earns you a diamond choker for your birthday.&&&The girl came skipping home from school one day."Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the otherkids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4,5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!""Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes,it's because you're blonde."The next day the girl came skipping home from school."Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, andall the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B,C, D, E, F, G!""Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes,it's because you're blonde."The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy,Mommy,"she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered,all theother girls had flat chests, but I have these!"And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good,"said her embarrassed mother."Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?""No Honey, it's because you're 24."~THE REAL MAN'S TEST~This is a test DESIGNED BY REAL MEN, intended FOR REAL MEN ONLY.Circle the best answer to each question below. Answers below1. Impotence isa. rude or disrespectful behaviorb. helpful when you need dinner reservations or theater ticketsc. when you care enough to give her a break from her sexual duties2. A menstrual cycle hasa. three wheelsb. two wheelsc. no wheels...it just drags along3. The G-spot isa. a key on the pianob. close to the F-spotc. imaginary - dreamed up by feminists to persecute men4. Masturbate refers toa. the best fishing lure for big fishb. everyone joining in the discussionc. the rewards enjoyed by a man who does his best work alone5. Premature ejaculation isa. a man younger than 18 having sexb. soiling your new PLAYBOY before you get to the centerfoldc. the ultimate testament to your woman's overpowering sex appeal6. A Douche isa. one rank above Earlb. a playing card with the number "2"c. French for "You're fresh out of luck tonight"7 Lesbian refers toa. someone from the Middle Eastb. a French word for "the well"c. a woman trying to do what a man does better8. Vagina isa. a heart diseaseb. a state near Washington DCc. like a Club Med - a retreat where kids aren't your responsibility9. Pornography isa. the business of making recordsb. the science of loaning money against hocked valuablesc. better than foreplay - you're ready before she hits the sheets10. KOTEX isa. a radio station in Los Angelesb. a synthetic fiber for outerwearc. a chastity belt for women who don't need one11. A wet dream is likely to occura. when your roof begins to leak at nightb. reading the Sports Illustrated swimsuit editionc. when a work accident has disabled both your handsSCORING: The correct answer to all questions is (c).If you got 11 CORRECT:You are a real man. The only romantic challenge you face is findinga woman worthy of your attentions.If you got 6-9 CORRECT:You are still a man...but you need to spend more time riding inpickup trucks, talking to chicks on sex hotlines, visiting internetpornography sites...If you got 1-5 CORRECT:Liberals, feminists, fairies and wimps are chipping away at yourmanhood. Stay away from open, honest discussions of sexuality...anyone's sexuality!if you got NONE CORRECT:It's time for sex change surgery, testosterone replacement therapy,monastic life or marriage.</blockquote>

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