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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4308593" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>"Daddy, How Was I Born?"</strong></p><p></p><p>A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"</p><p></p><p>The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out</p><p>anyway."</p><p></p><p>"Your mum and I got together in a chat room at Yahoo. Then I set up a</p><p>date via e-mail with your mum and we met up at cyber-cafe. We sneaked</p><p>into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy and then</p><p>your mum agreed to do a download from my hard drive.</p><p></p><p>As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of had</p><p>use a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine</p><p>months later, A blessed little pop-up appeared and said: "You have got a</p><p>Male."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">!!!!!</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Blonde Moments!</strong></p><p></p><p>A blonde and her Husband are laying in bed watching TV, they are</p><p>watching an old western. The Husband says to the Blonde "I bet you</p><p>breakfast in bed, that the wagon hits a rock and the rider falls out</p><p>dead," " Your on." Says the blonde. They watch the western further</p><p>and sure enough the wagon comes across a rock in the path, and the</p><p>rider falls out of the wagon dead.</p><p>The blonde gets out of bed and returns with a tray full of food.</p><p>After eating the husband says "I have to admit that I saw this movie</p><p>before."</p><p>The Blonde smiles. " I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think the</p><p>blonde was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">!!!!!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Why do women have two holes so close together?</p><p>In case you miss.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">!!!!!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.</p><p></p><p>"How am I doing?" He asks.</p><p></p><p>"Three knots," she replies.</p><p></p><p>"Three knots? What's that mean?"</p><p></p><p>"You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money</p><p>back!"</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong>She Needed A Guy</strong></p><p></p><p>When I was 16 I found a boyfriend, but there was no passion.</p><p>So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.</p><p></p><p>In college I dated a very passionate guy, but he was too emotional.</p><p>Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all</p><p>the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a man</p><p>with some stability.</p><p></p><p>When I was 25 I found a very stable guy but he was boring.</p><p>He was totally predictable and never got excited about</p><p>anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a</p><p>man with some excitement.</p><p></p><p>When I was 30 I found an exciting man, but I couldn't keep</p><p>up with him. He rushed from one party to another, never</p><p>settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and</p><p>flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as</p><p>often as happy. He was great fun initially and very</p><p>energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a</p><p>man with ambition.</p><p></p><p>When I turned 35, I found a smart ambitious man with his</p><p>feet planted firmly on the ground so I moved in with him.</p><p>He was so ambitious that he dumped me and took everything</p><p>I owned.</p><p></p><p>I am now 40 and am looking for a guy with a very big dick.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>ddd</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated</p><p>and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he</p><p>was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then,</p><p>while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started</p><p>talking to him.</p><p></p><p>"Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me?</p><p>I bought it with the insurance money!</p><p></p><p>"Irving, remember that new car you promised me?</p><p>Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!</p><p></p><p>"Irving, do you remember that emerald necklace you</p><p>promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."</p><p></p><p>Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said,</p><p>"Irving, remember that blow job I promised you?</p><p>Here it comes..."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4308593, member: 14320"] [B]"Daddy, How Was I Born?"[/B] A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway." "Your mum and I got together in a chat room at Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met up at cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy and then your mum agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of had use a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later, A blessed little pop-up appeared and said: "You have got a Male." [B][COLOR="Red"]!!!!![/COLOR] Blonde Moments![/B] A blonde and her Husband are laying in bed watching TV, they are watching an old western. The Husband says to the Blonde "I bet you breakfast in bed, that the wagon hits a rock and the rider falls out dead," " Your on." Says the blonde. They watch the western further and sure enough the wagon comes across a rock in the path, and the rider falls out of the wagon dead. The blonde gets out of bed and returns with a tray full of food. After eating the husband says "I have to admit that I saw this movie before." The Blonde smiles. " I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think the blonde was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice." [B][COLOR="Red"]!!!!![/COLOR][/B] Why do women have two holes so close together? In case you miss. [B][COLOR="Red"]!!!!![/COLOR][/B] An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins. "How am I doing?" He asks. "Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back!" [B]She Needed A Guy[/B] When I was 16 I found a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life. In college I dated a very passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a man with some stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a man with some excitement. When I was 30 I found an exciting man, but I couldn't keep up with him. He rushed from one party to another, never settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a man with ambition. When I turned 35, I found a smart ambitious man with his feet planted firmly on the ground so I moved in with him. He was so ambitious that he dumped me and took everything I owned. I am now 40 and am looking for a guy with a very big dick. [COLOR="Red"][B]ddd[/B][/COLOR] A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money! "Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money! "Irving, do you remember that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money." Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..." [/QUOTE]
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