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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4264367" data-attributes="member: 14320">Before And After MarriageBefore - You take my breath away.After - I feel like I'm suffocating.Before - Twice a night.After - Twice a month.Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.Before - Ricky & Lucy.After - Fred & Ethel.Before - Saturday Night Live.After - Monday Night Football.Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...Before - Don't Stop.After - Don't Start.Before - The Sound of Music.After - The Sound of Silence.Before - Is that all you are eating?After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.Before - Wheel of Fortune.After - Jeopardy.Before - It's like living a dream.After - It's a nightmare.Before - $60/dozen.After - $1.50/stem.Before - Turbo charged.After - Needs a jump-start.Before - We agree on everything!After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?Before - Victoria's Secret.After - Fruit of the Loom.Before - Feathers & handcuffs.After - Ball and chain.Before - Idol.After - Idle.Before - He's lost without me.After - Why can't he ask for directions?Before - When together, time stands still.After - This relationship is going nowhere.Before - Croissant and cappuccino.After - Bagels and instant coffee.Before - Oysters.After - Fish sticks.Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?&&&This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from afriend, who tells him, "I know this midget with a speechimpediment who wants to buy a horse and I'm sending him over."The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a maleor female horse.- "A female horth", the midget replies.So the owner shows him one.- "Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?"So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth.- "Nith mouf, Can I thee her eyeth?"So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's eyes.- "Ok, what about the eerth?"Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midgetone more time and shows him the ears.- "OK, finally, can I see her twat?"With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his headup the horse's vagina, then pulls him out. Shaking his head,the midget says,"Perhapth I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awownd?</blockquote>

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