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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4256155" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Bad Weather</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Saturday morning I got up early, put on my</p><p>long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch,</p><p>grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the</p><p>garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and</p><p>proceeded to back out into a torrential</p><p>downpour. There was snow mixed with the</p><p>rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.</p><p></p><p>I pulled back into the garage, turned on the</p><p>radio, and discovered that the weather would</p><p>be bad throughout the day. I went back into</p><p>the house, quietly undressed, and slipped</p><p>back into bed there I cuddled up to my wife's</p><p>back, now with a different anticipation, and</p><p>whispered, "The weather out there is terrible,</p><p>but I made it."</p><p></p><p>She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my</p><p>stupid husband is out fishing in that weather.."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">-----</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.</p><p>The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"?</p><p>The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7.</p><p>Why? Do you think they look alike?"</p><p>"No", he replies "I just can't believe you got laid twice"!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">-----</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A certain husband was in big trouble when he forgot his</p><p>10th wedding anniversary. His wife told him, "Tomorrow</p><p>there better be something in the driveway for me that</p><p>goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat."</p><p></p><p>The next morning, the wife found a small package in the</p><p>driveway. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.</p><p></p><p>Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4256155, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Bad Weather[/COLOR][/B] Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed there I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible, but I made it." She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that weather.." [B][COLOR="Red"]-----[/COLOR][/B] An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids. The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"? The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?" "No", he replies "I just can't believe you got laid twice"! [B][COLOR="Red"]-----[/COLOR][/B] A certain husband was in big trouble when he forgot his 10th wedding anniversary. His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat." The next morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday. [/QUOTE]
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