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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4198380" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Male's Life Story:I've learned that sometimes my ding-ding gets hard and stands up.Age 6I've learned that pissing in your sister's shoes gets you belted overthe ear from your dad.Age 9I've learned that weak kids get beaten unmercifully at school.Age 12I've learnt that getting your hands down a girl's pants makes you a legend at school.Age 13I've learnt that girls use their teeth when they suck your dick sometimes.Age 15I've learnt that getting laid is the primary reason for my existence.Age 17I've learnt that getting laid is the primary reason for my existence.Age 21I've learnt that getting laid is the primary reason for my existence.Age 24I've learnt that getting laid now involves me also being extremely rich.Age 28I've learnt that everyone in the world except for me, my three bestfriends and my immediate family are fucked.Age 31I've learnt that women are money-grabbing cunts, and that you should only fuck 18 year olds.Age 35I've learnt that drugs are a totally acceptable way to cope with reality.Age 37I've learnt that fucking 20 year old girls whilst punching them in the back of the head and at the same time drinkinga bottle of 1961 ChateauMargeaux is about the most pleasurable thing in the world.Age 40I've learnt that it doesn't matter how old and fat you are, and how muchyou fart, drink, and sweat, young girls will still tell you that you aresexy if you have a shit load of cash.Age 45I've learnt that not having kids was the best fucking move ever.Age 47I've learnt that I have a disdain for other people that rivals the universe in size.Age 52I've learnt that old people shit me, and that young people piss me off,and that my friends never shut up about their fucking kids, when all Iwant to do is fuck a little totty and get drunk.Age 57I've learnt that modern medicine can cure all my ailments,so I drink and abuse my body as hard as I can, and trust myself to my physician.Age 62I've learnt that liver, lung and heart transplants aren't so bad.Age 67I've learnt that I didn't fuck enough girls in my life, despite the factI fucked ten times as many as all my lame friends combined. Age 71I've learned that Viagra remakes the man, and that money is the sexiestaspect to any man.Age 74I've learned that Anna Nicole-Smith is not the only doubleD breasted blonde who will repulse herself with a smile on her face and fuck a fatold guy when he has been unzipped down the front to replace all hismajor organs and now resides in a wheelchair in order to get a shot at the inheritance.Age 81I've learned that pissing yourself in front of young people is kind ofenjoyable, and that when you are in your mid-80's you can say the mosthateful, hurtful, and needlessly mean things with impunity. Age 85I've learned that I didn't do enough women, didn't snort enough coke,and didn't drink enough good red wine, because I am still fucking alive.Age 92</blockquote>

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