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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4183064" data-attributes="member: 14320">Why Are Women So Cranky?Well, let me tell you why. We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or10 years old, only to findanything that comes in contact with thosetender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter thealmighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in schoolwill snap until we have calluses on our backs.Next, we get ourperiods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with thosebudding boobs, we now bloat, cramp,get the hormonal mood swings,have a choice to wear little mattressesbetween our legs or shovetubular, packed cotton rods deep into placeswe didn't even know we had.Our next little rite of passage(premarital or not) is having sexfor the first time,which is about as much fun as having a ramrodpush your uterus through your nostrils ...and that's IF he didit right and didn't end up with hislittle cart before his horse,leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.Then it's off to Motherhood,where we learn to live on nothing butdry crackers and water for months on endso we don't spend entiredays leaning over Brother John.Of course, amazing creatures thatwe are (and we ARE, make no mistake about it),we learn to livewith the growing little angels inside ussteadily kicking our innardsnight and day,making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.Our once-flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelonwhole and we pee every time we sneeze.When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions willinvariably burst right in the middle of the malland we'll waddle with our bigcartoon feet, moaning in painall the way to the hospital.Then it's huff and puff and beg to diewhile the doctor says,"Please stop screaming, Mrs. In-Labor.Calm down and push. Just one more good push,"(he LIES; it's at LEAST 10 more!)warranting a strong,well-deserved impulse to punchthe bastard (and husband) squarein the nose for making us cram a wiggling,mushroom-headedten pound bowling ball through a keyhole.After that, it's time to raise those angels,only to find that whenall that "cute" wears off,the beautiful little darlings morph intowalking, jabbering, wet, gooey,snot-blowing, life-sucking littlepoop machines.The teen years; need I say more?The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracioussexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's,while hubby had hissomewhere around his 18th birthday(which just *happens* to be thereason all that early hot man sexgot you knocked up in the first place).Now we hit the grand finale:"Menopause," the Grandmotherof all womanhood.It's either take the HRTand chance cancer inthose now seasoned "buds"or the aforementioned Nether Regions,or sweat like a hog in January,wash your sheets and pillowcases daily,and bite the head off anythingthat moves within your line of sight.Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spitefulthan men when men get off so easyINCLUDING the icing on life's cake:Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks?Don't get me wrong -- I love being a woman,but "Womanhood"would make the Great Gandhi spiteful!And they say women are the "weaker sex."</blockquote>

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