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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4175009" data-attributes="member: 14320">If God Was A Woman....1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an "OFF" switch10. There would be no "Hooters"11. A man's paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation inHawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location bywife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instantverification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell thedifference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 30 seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on thecheek20. Viagra becomes an over the counter drug.@@@Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorioustecho-geek."Hey, bud, how are ya?""I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours isbeautiful!""Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!""No way, how could that be?""She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how sheworks. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If yousqueeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all,she can have sex, too!""Holy shit! You're kidding, right?""No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrowher"So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there withher for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa!Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah!"The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencilsharpener!"</blockquote>

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