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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4165101" data-attributes="member: 14320">Results Of The Week One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbowhurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor.""Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies."There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urinesample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do aboutit. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than adoctor."So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. Hedeposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urinesample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm inwarm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thankyou for shopping at Wal-Mart."That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joebegan wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tapwater, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife anddaughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited theresults.The computer then prints the following:1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your tennis elbow will neverget better!Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart&&& Mary had a little pig,She kept it fat and plastered;And when the price of pork went up,She shot the little bastard.*****A ninety-three year old goes to a hooker. When he takes out hislimp, old dick she says, "You've had it, mister!""Thank you! How much do I owe you?"*****A woman was confessing to her psychiatrist that she had fallen in lovewith her vibrator. "It's not as bad as it sounds," she added. "It's moreor less an on-again, off-again relationship."</blockquote>

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