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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4115435" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Addicted To Cigars</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.</p><p>"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, re wrap it, and place it back with all the others in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious: you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar."</p><p>"Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again. "What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!"</p><p>"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," said the patient. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" "Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at night unless I have a cigar shoved up my ass..."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">aaaaa</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments,</p><p>"You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June, and left me $10,000."</p><p>said the friend. "Gee, that's tough," he replied.</p><p>"Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000."</p><p>The man looking concerned says, "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."</p><p>The friend continues, "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."</p><p>"Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!"</p><p>"Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a single dime!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">aaaaa</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?" "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied. "Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?" "Twenty-six."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4115435, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Addicted To Cigars[/COLOR][/B] A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy. "When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, re wrap it, and place it back with all the others in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious: you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar." "Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again. "What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" "Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," said the patient. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" "Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at night unless I have a cigar shoved up my ass..." [B][COLOR="Red"]aaaaa[/COLOR][/B] A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June, and left me $10,000." said the friend. "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." The man looking concerned says, "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." The friend continues, "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!" "Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a single dime!" [B][COLOR="Red"]aaaaa[/COLOR][/B] A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?" "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied. "Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?" "Twenty-six." [/QUOTE]
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