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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4112807" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A Beautiful Blonde</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy</p><p>that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also,</p><p>he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his</p><p>head to see how long he slept.</p><p></p><p>So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a</p><p>date with this ravishing buxom blonde.</p><p></p><p>Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they</p><p>become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls</p><p>out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says,</p><p>"Let's have this last drink at my apartment."</p><p></p><p>Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the</p><p>word, "OK."</p><p></p><p>They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when</p><p>the blonde stops him and says, "Before we go back to my apartment</p><p>there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."</p><p>He says, ..."That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What is the definition of a smart ass?</p><p>Someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!"</p><p>"What!? How could you?" screamed the Mother,</p><p>"and just who is the father?"</p><p>The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed,</p><p>"How should I know?</p><p>You're the one who would never let me go steady!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Confucius say:</p><p>"Man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What did George Washington and Thomas Jefferson have in common?</p><p>They were the last two white people to have those names.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant</p><p>A. Marry it.</p><p></p><p>Q. How do you teach a blond math?</p><p>A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.</p><p></p><p>Q. What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail?</p><p>A. I feel like a kid again!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?</p><p>It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur"? The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4112807, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]A Beautiful Blonde[/COLOR][/B] A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also, he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept. So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde. Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says, "Let's have this last drink at my apartment." Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word, "OK." They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says, "Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle." He says, ..."That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda." [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] What is the definition of a smart ass? Someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is. [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] "Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!" "What!? How could you?" screamed the Mother, "and just who is the father?" The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed, "How should I know? You're the one who would never let me go steady!" [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] Confucius say: "Man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts" [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] What did George Washington and Thomas Jefferson have in common? They were the last two white people to have those names. [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant A. Marry it. Q. How do you teach a blond math? A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her. Q. What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail? A. I feel like a kid again! [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] Do you know what Rodeo Sex is? It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds! [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur"? The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass. [/QUOTE]
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