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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3923544" data-attributes="member: 14320">Nursing HomeAn old bloke in the nursing home couldn't talk. One day, while he was sitting in a chair,a nurse walked by and noticed that he was leaning to the right. She sat him upright in hischair and told him to sit still. A while later, the nurse came by again, and this time shenoticed that he was leaning to the left. She straightened him up and told him again tosit still, or else he might fall out of his chair. The next time she made her rounds, she sawthe old guy leaning forward, about to topple headfirst to the floor, so she tied him intothe chair for his own good.Later on in the day, his daughter came to visit, and seeing her father strapped into hischair, asked him what was wrong. The old bloke handed her a note, which she unfoldedand read.It said, "They won't let me fart."9898989898Mum walked into the bathroom one day and foundyoung Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with atoothbrush and toothpaste."What the hell do you think you're doing, youngman?!" she exclaimed."Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonnado this three times a day, because there's no way I'mgonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as mysister's."9898989898Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip thewife's knickers off!""What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.9898989898A little girl was licking a lollipop at a hairdressers a drops it into a heap of cut hair lyingon the floor, the hairdresser says to her: Oh, "have you got hair on your lollipop"?"No", answers the little girl, "I'm only three."</blockquote>

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