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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3812343" data-attributes="member: 14320">RalphRalph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ’You died in your sleep, Ralph..’Ralph was stunned. ’I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’St. Peter said, ’I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.A rooster strolled past. ’So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’’Not bad, replied Ralph the hen, but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’’You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ’Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before? ’’Never,’ said Ralph.’Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ’It’s no big deal.’Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....Ralph! Wake up you dirty bastard. You shit the bed!’333333A little girl was licking a lollipop at a hairdressers a drops it into a heap of cut hair lyingon the floor, the hairdresser says to her: Oh, "have you got hair on your lollipop"?"No", answers the little girl, "I'm only three."333333A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended froma monkey?"The mother replied, "I don't know, son, I never met your father'sfolks."</blockquote>

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