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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3771351" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Bull FrogA woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. Afterlooking around she realized that all the pets there were too expensive.She went to the counter and questioned the clerk.I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive,"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00.Would you like to see it?"50? For a frog?" asked the woman.The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs."The woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so she thoughtthis was a heck of a deal.She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'dnever have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog.She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift.Of course, the husband was a bit skeptical, but said he'dtry it out for sure that night.The woman went to bed that night relieved knowing she'd never haveto give another blow job. Around two in the morning, she woke up to hearpots and pans banging around in the kitchen.She got up to go see what was going on.When she got to the kitchen, she saw her husband and the frog,sitting at the kitchen table looking through cookbooks.What are you two doing at this hour?" asked the woman.The husband looks up at her and says,If I can teach this frog to cook,your ass is outta here!"@@@This guy was having hot sex with his bitchy girlfriend.Nearing the end she threw him off and said that shewanted a candy bar. "I don't have any candy bars here,"he said. "That's it, were through!!! If you don't run tothe store and get me a candy, I am gonna leave you."Scared, he quickly ran out the door forgetting to getdressed. He quickly got to the store, stole 3 candy barsand ran out. Halfway home he realized that he was nakedand he hid behind a bush. " Oh Damn!!!" he thought." IfI don't get back soon she'll leave me." He began to runhome when suddenly he saw 3 nuns coming down the street."Oh crap," he said. " I know... I'll pretend I am astatue. They wont even realize it."So there he stood, frozen with the 3 bars. Up walked thenuns. "Oh My!!!" says one. "It's one of those nude candymachines." The nun reaches in her pocket and pulled outa quarter. Upon inspection she shoves the quarter up hisass and yanks on his dick. In amazing pain he drops oneof the bars. The nun walks away happy. The second nunrepeats the process and gets her candy bar. "Oh man, ifI lose this one she will leave me for sure!!!" The thirdnun pays and starts to pull on his dick. "Hmmmm, that'sodd. Where's my candy bar?" She pulls and pulls andpulls but no candy. She gives it one more yank andstarts to smile. "Sisters look.... HAND LOTION!"</blockquote>

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