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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3768556" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> A Man Named Jacques</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named</p><p>Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up</p><p>some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual</p><p>desires. He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and</p><p>brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent</p><p>the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police</p><p>and Jacques was arrested.</p><p></p><p>On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of</p><p>the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the</p><p>judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin</p><p>my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room,</p><p>BOOM-BOOM,</p><p>give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!"</p><p></p><p>"Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a</p><p>lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape.You</p><p>must have her consent!"</p><p></p><p>After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at</p><p>the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her</p><p>cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent</p><p>everywhere!!!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Benefits Of Growing Older</span></strong></p><p></p><p>...Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't</p><p>remember them either.</p><p></p><p>...You consider coffee one of the most important things in</p><p>life.</p><p></p><p>...You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.</p><p></p><p>...You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor</p><p>to watch television.</p><p></p><p>...People who call at 9 p.m. ask, "Did I wake you?"</p><p></p><p>...You send money to PBS.</p><p></p><p>...You can tune people out and pretend you are hard of hearing</p><p>and they believe you.</p><p></p><p>...You don't have to worry about the cops being called when</p><p>you throw a party because the neighbors don't even realize</p><p>it.</p><p></p><p>...In a hostage situation you are likely to be released</p><p>first.</p><p></p><p>...People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.</p><p></p><p>...Things you buy now won't wear out.</p><p></p><p>...There's nothing left to learn the hard way.</p><p></p><p>...Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning</p><p>to pay off.</p><p></p><p>...Kidnappers are not very interested in you.</p><p></p><p>...It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to</p><p>stick..</p><p></p><p>...No one expects you to run into a burning building.</p><p></p><p>...Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather</p><p>Service.</p><p></p><p>...Your eyes won't get much worse.</p><p></p><p>...Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a</p><p>manageable size.</p><p></p><p>...You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who</p><p>walks into the room.</p><p></p><p>...You can do anything without worrying about what people think</p><p>about you, because you just don't give a shit what they</p><p>think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3768556, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] A Man Named Jacques[/COLOR][/B] One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French-Canadian man named Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual desires. He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police and Jacques was arrested. On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room, BOOM-BOOM, give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!" "Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape.You must have her consent!" After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent everywhere!!! [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]The Benefits Of Growing Older[/COLOR][/B] ...Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. ...You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. ...You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. ...You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. ...People who call at 9 p.m. ask, "Did I wake you?" ...You send money to PBS. ...You can tune people out and pretend you are hard of hearing and they believe you. ...You don't have to worry about the cops being called when you throw a party because the neighbors don't even realize it. ...In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. ...People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. ...Things you buy now won't wear out. ...There's nothing left to learn the hard way. ...Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. ...Kidnappers are not very interested in you. ...It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.. ...No one expects you to run into a burning building. ...Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. ...Your eyes won't get much worse. ...Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. ...You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. ...You can do anything without worrying about what people think about you, because you just don't give a shit what they think. [/QUOTE]
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