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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3750539" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Blonde Moments</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator.</p><p></p><p>He stood up on the counter and announced "If i stick my cock and balls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink."</p><p></p><p>The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee.</p><p></p><p>So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws.</p><p></p><p>A few moments later he hit it on the head with a beer bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch.</p><p></p><p>As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try.</p><p></p><p>A hush blew over the crowed.</p><p></p><p>All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back." I would said the blond lady if you promise not to hit me in the head with a beer bottle.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?</p><p>A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was</p><p></p><p>Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?</p><p>A: You lick`em, stick`em, and send`em on their way</p><p></p><p>Q: Why don't blonds breast feed their babies?</p><p>A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples</p><p></p><p>Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?</p><p>A: When she farts, her knees bag.</p><p></p><p>Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex?</p><p>A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you get when a six foot blonde bends over?</p><p>A: A three foot brunette</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>This one blonde decided to commit suicide.</p><p>So, she thought being hit by a train is not that</p><p>bad. She lay with her legs spread over the railway line.</p><p>The next day in the paper, it read,</p><p>Train disappeared, reward offered"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their daughter's purses.</p><p></p><p>So, the brunette goes through her daughter's purse and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My Daughter smokes."</p><p></p><p>So, the redhead goes through her daughter's purse and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter drinks."</p><p></p><p>So, finally, it's the blondes turn and she finds a used condom. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter has a penis."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Blonde Inventions</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. The water-proof towel</p><p>2. Solar powered flashlight</p><p>3. Submarine screen door</p><p>4. A book on how to read</p><p>5. Inflatable dart board</p><p>6. A dictionary index</p><p>7. Ejector seat in a helicopter</p><p>8. Powdered water</p><p>9. Pedal-powered wheel chair</p><p>10. Water-proof tea bag</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3750539, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Blonde Moments[/COLOR][/B] One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator. He stood up on the counter and announced "If i stick my cock and balls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink." The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee. So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws. A few moments later he hit it on the head with a beer bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch. As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try. A hush blew over the crowed. All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back." I would said the blond lady if you promise not to hit me in the head with a beer bottle. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins? A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp? A: You lick`em, stick`em, and send`em on their way Q: Why don't blonds breast feed their babies? A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? A: When she farts, her knees bag. Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate? Q: What do you get when a six foot blonde bends over? A: A three foot brunette [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] This one blonde decided to commit suicide. So, she thought being hit by a train is not that bad. She lay with her legs spread over the railway line. The next day in the paper, it read, Train disappeared, reward offered" [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their daughter's purses. So, the brunette goes through her daughter's purse and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My Daughter smokes." So, the redhead goes through her daughter's purse and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter drinks." So, finally, it's the blondes turn and she finds a used condom. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter has a penis." [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Blonde Inventions[/COLOR][/B] 1. The water-proof towel 2. Solar powered flashlight 3. Submarine screen door 4. A book on how to read 5. Inflatable dart board 6. A dictionary index 7. Ejector seat in a helicopter 8. Powdered water 9. Pedal-powered wheel chair 10. Water-proof tea bag [/QUOTE]
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