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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3742786" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">New Medications For Women Only</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>DAMNITOL</strong></p><p>Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.</p><p></p><p><strong>ST. MOMMA'S WORT</strong></p><p>Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers</p><p>unconscious for up to six hours.</p><p></p><p><strong>EMPTYNESTROGEN</strong></p><p>Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing</p><p>the</p><p>memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait</p><p>till they moved out.</p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>PEPTOBIMBO</strong></p><p>Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an</p><p>evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves</p><p>flirting.</p><p></p><p><strong>DUMBEROL</strong></p><p>When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in</p><p>enjoyment of country western music.</p><p></p><p><strong>FLIPITOR</strong></p><p>Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the</p><p>urge to flip off other drivers.</p><p></p><p><strong>PENISCILLIN</strong></p><p>Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines</p><p>as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"</p><p></p><p><strong>BUYAGRA</strong></p><p>Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and</p><p>duration of spending spree.</p><p></p><p><strong>Extra Strength BUY-ONE-ALl</strong></p><p>When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy</p><p>so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a</p><p>book by Dr. Laura.</p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>JACKASSPIRIN</strong></p><p>Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,</p><p>anniversary or phone number.</p><p></p><p><strong>ANTI-TALKSIDENT</strong></p><p>A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to</p><p>share their life stories with total strangers.</p><p></p><p><strong>SEXCEDRIN</strong></p><p>More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a</p><p>headache" syndrome.</p><p></p><p><strong>NAGAMENT</strong></p><p>When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging</p><p>him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it</p><p>herself.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was a man that died with a very large hard on. When the funeral director put him in the casket, he could not get it shut.</p><p>He strapped his dick to his stomach, but the man sat right up, so he strapped it to his legs and the man's legs shot into the air.</p><p>The funeral director called the man's widow and asked for her advise in which she replied, "Cut it off and stick it up his ass!!?</p><p>The night of the viewing the widow went up to the casket to see her husband and noticed that there were tears coming from his eyes.</p><p>She smiled and said "Ha Ha, you dumb son of a bitch, I told you that it hurt."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3742786, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]New Medications For Women Only[/COLOR] DAMNITOL[/B] Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. [B]ST. MOMMA'S WORT[/B] Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. [B]EMPTYNESTROGEN[/B] Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. [B] PEPTOBIMBO[/B] Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. [B]DUMBEROL[/B] When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country western music. [B]FLIPITOR[/B] Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. [B]PENISCILLIN[/B] Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" [B]BUYAGRA[/B] Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. [B]Extra Strength BUY-ONE-ALl[/B] When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. [B] JACKASSPIRIN[/B] Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. [B]ANTI-TALKSIDENT[/B] A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. [B]SEXCEDRIN[/B] More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache" syndrome. [B]NAGAMENT[/B] When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] There was a man that died with a very large hard on. When the funeral director put him in the casket, he could not get it shut. He strapped his dick to his stomach, but the man sat right up, so he strapped it to his legs and the man's legs shot into the air. The funeral director called the man's widow and asked for her advise in which she replied, "Cut it off and stick it up his ass!!? The night of the viewing the widow went up to the casket to see her husband and noticed that there were tears coming from his eyes. She smiled and said "Ha Ha, you dumb son of a bitch, I told you that it hurt." [/QUOTE]
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