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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3733372" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Truisms</strong></p><p></p><p>* Behind every successful man, there is a great woman and behind every great woman, there is a smart guy staring at her butt. </p><p></p><p>* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. </p><p></p><p>* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one. </p><p></p><p>* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress. </p><p></p><p>* Chess players mate better. </p><p></p><p>* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink. </p><p></p><p>* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts. </p><p></p><p>* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK. </p><p></p><p>* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex. </p><p></p><p>* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". </p><p></p><p>* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong. </p><p></p><p>* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together. </p><p></p><p>* The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night. </p><p></p><p>* I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed. </p><p></p><p>* Prostitution is a hole sale business. </p><p></p><p>* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. </p><p></p><p>* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to park meat in woman. </p><p></p><p>* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. </p><p></p><p>* Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. </p><p></p><p>* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight. </p><p></p><p>* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind ... But by what she doesn't mind. </p><p></p><p>* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people. </p><p></p><p>* Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. </p><p></p><p>* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy!</p><p></p><p>* Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's</p><p>troublesome.</p><p></p><p>* Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a</p><p>while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually</p><p>enjoying it.</p><p></p><p>* Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is</p><p>in trouble again.</p><p></p><p>* Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law.</p><p></p><p>* Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.</p><p></p><p>* Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does</p><p>milk.</p><p></p><p>* Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them!!</p><p></p><p>* You're not a complete idiot, there're still some parts missing!</p><p></p><p>* Forgive your enemies but remember their names</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3733372, member: 14320"] [B]Truisms[/B] * Behind every successful man, there is a great woman and behind every great woman, there is a smart guy staring at her butt. * If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. * Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one. * A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress. * Chess players mate better. * Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink. * Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts. * If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK. * Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex. * Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". * If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong. * There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together. * The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night. * I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed. * Prostitution is a hole sale business. * A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. * It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to park meat in woman. * What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. * Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. * Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight. * I'm not attracted by a girl's mind ... But by what she doesn't mind. * Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people. * Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. * Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy! * Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. * Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it. * Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. * Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law. * Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. * Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. * Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them!! * You're not a complete idiot, there're still some parts missing! * Forgive your enemies but remember their names [/QUOTE]
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