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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3727589" data-attributes="member: 14320">Testimonials:Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take theWords back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are theTestimonials Of a few people who did....FIRST TESTIMONY:I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow andasked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" ITurned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn'tsay a word...he knew better.SECOND TESTIMONY:I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I wasunhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing forseveral minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemenwho Works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,I looked At him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."THIRD TESTIMONY:My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold avariety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, theboy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'mjust Looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. Theboy grinned, And I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, mySister has never let me forget.FOURTH TESTIMONY:While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to releasesome pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of herafter receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. Itold Her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would bepunished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just asthreatening,"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma thatI saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafeningafter this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they weredoing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with mydaughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behindme,were screams of laughter.FIFTH TESTIMONY:Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Mythree-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I wason him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch inbetween errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, Ismelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-olddaughter,and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked togo potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said"No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and Idon't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE youdidn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he musthave had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, Iasked one more time, "Danny, did you Have an accident?" This time hejumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks andyelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked todeath on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and satdown. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the bestlaugh they'd ever had!</blockquote>

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