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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3707991" data-attributes="member: 14320"> His And Her FartsAttention women:until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns,quit bitching. I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart.Fartingaround a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck on thewailing bitch station:"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FARTED."Yeah it's real hardto believe that guys have the ability to let out air from their colons,call Ripley.Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when theyfart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from theirassholes when they rip one.Women farts smell like old men: Not only isthe elusive potpourri poop-chute a myth, a woman's fart is embarrassingwhereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swishin your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors.A real fart is beefy,has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consistsof the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wipingafterwards.When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient."The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent soundingrelease. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goesinto mapping every woman's brain to her asshole.The efficiency comesfrom the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion tohow weak-sounding it was).The farting double-standard is bullshit.Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops!I'm cute!"No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loudand deny it, or don't fart at all.Leave the farting to men, at least weknow how to get the job done.The businessman spent a good half an hour in the hotel loungebragging to the hooker about how big his dick was. Finally shesuggested they retire to his room and check it out, and hewillingly agreed.The guy stripped off his clothes, jumped on top of the hooker,entered her, and said triumphantly, "Why don't you open yourmouth, baby, so I can see the end of my prick?""Open my mouth?" scoffed the hooker. "Why don't you wiggle yourass so I can feel it?"</blockquote>

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