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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3702038" data-attributes="member: 14320">Plastered To the GillsA husband is in the habit of coming home plastered to the gills eachnight and each night he throws up in the bathroom sink.His wife warns him each time, that one of these days, he will puke hisguts out. He of course pays no attention. The wife is so disgusted withhis behavior, that she decides to play a little joke on him.While her husband is out drinking one night, she searches the highwaysfor roadkill. She places a bunch of dead animal guts in the bathroomsink and waits for the return of her inebriated husband.He comes home, drunk as usual, and as usual pukes in the bathroom sink.He comes to bed but is more quiet than normal. She asks him if anythingis wrong. He says, "Honey, you were right. It finally happened.I puked my guts out in the sink."She can barely contain her laugther at this point.He continues on to say, "But with the help of the good Lord and aspoon, I got em all back in!"55555A little old, blue haired lady shakily walks into a porno shop. Shecan barely get to the counter because she's so wobbly. But she finallymakes it.She asks the clerk in a shaky voice, "Do you have di-ildos?"The clerk replies, "Why, yes we do."The little old lady then asks, "Do yo-u ha-ve one abo-ut 6 in-ches longa-nd about 2 in-ches thick?"The clerk politely replies. "Yes, ma'am.""Does it ru-n on 2 AA batter-ies?" She shakily asks.He nods, "Yes.""Do yo-u know ho-w to tu-rn the damn thi-ng o-ff?"55555This young couple had only been married for one night when the bridewent to the doctor to say this is my first day of marriage and there issomething that bothers me.Doctor: What is it ?.....Bride: Well, during sex I feel his dick touches my kidneys.Doctor: Just send in your groom and I will cut a couple of inches andhopefully it will not reach your kidneys.Bride : No, I want you to remove my Kidneys instead, she answered.55555A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it. The genie popped outand said, "I'll grant you any wish you want."The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer. "I want to behard all the time and get all the ass I want.""As you wish," the genie replied.So, the genie turned him into a toilet seat.</blockquote>

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