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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3702038" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Plastered To the Gills</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A husband is in the habit of coming home plastered to the gills each</p><p>night and each night he throws up in the bathroom sink.</p><p>His wife warns him each time, that one of these days, he will puke his</p><p>guts out. He of course pays no attention. The wife is so disgusted with</p><p>his behavior, that she decides to play a little joke on him.</p><p></p><p>While her husband is out drinking one night, she searches the highways</p><p>for roadkill. She places a bunch of dead animal guts in the bathroom</p><p>sink and waits for the return of her inebriated husband.</p><p>He comes home, drunk as usual, and as usual pukes in the bathroom sink.</p><p></p><p>He comes to bed but is more quiet than normal. She asks him if anything</p><p>is wrong. He says, "Honey, you were right. It finally happened.</p><p>I puked my guts out in the sink."</p><p>She can barely contain her laugther at this point.</p><p>He continues on to say, "But with the help of the good Lord and a</p><p>spoon, I got em all back in!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">55555</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little old, blue haired lady shakily walks into a porno shop. She</p><p>can barely get to the counter because she's so wobbly. But she finally</p><p>makes it.</p><p></p><p>She asks the clerk in a shaky voice, "Do you have di-ildos?"</p><p></p><p>The clerk replies, "Why, yes we do."</p><p></p><p>The little old lady then asks, "Do yo-u ha-ve one abo-ut 6 in-ches long</p><p>a-nd about 2 in-ches thick?"</p><p></p><p>The clerk politely replies. "Yes, ma'am."</p><p></p><p>"Does it ru-n on 2 AA batter-ies?" She shakily asks.</p><p></p><p>He nods, "Yes."</p><p></p><p>"Do yo-u know ho-w to tu-rn the damn thi-ng o-ff?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">55555</span></strong></p><p></p><p>This young couple had only been married for one night when the bride</p><p>went to the doctor to say this is my first day of marriage and there is</p><p>something that bothers me.</p><p>Doctor: What is it ?.....</p><p>Bride: Well, during sex I feel his dick touches my kidneys.</p><p>Doctor: Just send in your groom and I will cut a couple of inches and</p><p>hopefully it will not reach your kidneys.</p><p>Bride : No, I want you to remove my Kidneys instead, she answered.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">55555</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it. The genie popped out</p><p>and said, "I'll grant you any wish you want."</p><p>The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer. "I want to be</p><p>hard all the time and get all the ass I want."</p><p>"As you wish," the genie replied.</p><p>So, the genie turned him into a toilet seat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3702038, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Plastered To the Gills[/COLOR][/B] A husband is in the habit of coming home plastered to the gills each night and each night he throws up in the bathroom sink. His wife warns him each time, that one of these days, he will puke his guts out. He of course pays no attention. The wife is so disgusted with his behavior, that she decides to play a little joke on him. While her husband is out drinking one night, she searches the highways for roadkill. She places a bunch of dead animal guts in the bathroom sink and waits for the return of her inebriated husband. He comes home, drunk as usual, and as usual pukes in the bathroom sink. He comes to bed but is more quiet than normal. She asks him if anything is wrong. He says, "Honey, you were right. It finally happened. I puked my guts out in the sink." She can barely contain her laugther at this point. He continues on to say, "But with the help of the good Lord and a spoon, I got em all back in!" [B][COLOR="Red"]55555[/COLOR][/B] A little old, blue haired lady shakily walks into a porno shop. She can barely get to the counter because she's so wobbly. But she finally makes it. She asks the clerk in a shaky voice, "Do you have di-ildos?" The clerk replies, "Why, yes we do." The little old lady then asks, "Do yo-u ha-ve one abo-ut 6 in-ches long a-nd about 2 in-ches thick?" The clerk politely replies. "Yes, ma'am." "Does it ru-n on 2 AA batter-ies?" She shakily asks. He nods, "Yes." "Do yo-u know ho-w to tu-rn the damn thi-ng o-ff?" [B][COLOR="Red"]55555[/COLOR][/B] This young couple had only been married for one night when the bride went to the doctor to say this is my first day of marriage and there is something that bothers me. Doctor: What is it ?..... Bride: Well, during sex I feel his dick touches my kidneys. Doctor: Just send in your groom and I will cut a couple of inches and hopefully it will not reach your kidneys. Bride : No, I want you to remove my Kidneys instead, she answered. [B][COLOR="Red"]55555[/COLOR][/B] A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it. The genie popped out and said, "I'll grant you any wish you want." The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer. "I want to be hard all the time and get all the ass I want." "As you wish," the genie replied. So, the genie turned him into a toilet seat. [/QUOTE]
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