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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3656697" data-attributes="member: 14320">LorenaLorena and her husband are driving along the highway. The husband, whois driving, is complaining about everything...the heat, the long drive,bad drivers, the country, etc. Lorena is getting annoyed with hisdepressing talk, so she says to him, "One more complaint and I'll cutyour penis off with my Swiss army knife!"About half an hour later, he starts complaining again, and before hecould blink Lorena pulls out her knife and slices her husband's penisoff and throws it out the window.Driving behind the couple's car is Little Johnny and his parents. Thepenis suddenly lands on their car's windshield and Little Johnny’sfather, in a panic, quickly puts on the windshield wipers to get thedick off the windshield and out of the view of his little son.After he does this, Little Johnny asks, "Daddy, what was that?"His father, still in a panic, replies, "Oh it was only a butterfly,son."Little Johnny replies, "Damn, did you see the size of its dick!"~~~~~~~~TRUE EXPRESSIONS OF FRIENDSHIP (man style):When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge againstthe sorry bastard who made you sad.When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about howmuch worse it could be until you quit whining. ;-)When you are confused -- I will use little words.When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are wellagain. I don't want whatever you have.When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.~~~~~~~~After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of anotherman on her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is thisyour husband?" he nervously asks."No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him."Your boyfriend, then?" he continues."No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear."Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to bereassured."No, no, no!" she answers."Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands."That's me before the surgery."</blockquote>

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