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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3644505" data-attributes="member: 14320">Cinderella Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions."First, you must wear a diaphragm."Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?""You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2. a.m.The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and "very" satisfied."Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!""I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.""I know of no prince with that kind of power! What was his name?""I can't remember, exactly ... Peter Peter, something or other...."======The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advanceson their wedding night, and reprimanded him severely."I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at thedinner table."Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair andclimbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with ahint of a smile."Yes," replied the girl, "much better.""Very good, darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind asto please pass the cunt."======What's the difference between snot and cauliflower?Kids will eat snot.======Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?A: You fuck her=======Why do you have to wrap duct tape around a gerbil?So that it doesn't explode when you sodomize it.======You've heard the VISA slogan, "it's everywhere you want to be." I guess that means there are a lot of women walking around with credit cards up their cunts.======A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"</blockquote>