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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3612300" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">George And God</span></strong></p><p></p><p>70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. </p><p>Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" </p><p>George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. </p><p>The light goes on when I pee, and then (Poof!) the light goes off when I'm done." </p><p>"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!" </p><p>A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. </p><p>"Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (Poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (Poof!) the light goes off?" </p><p>"That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Mary had a little lamb</p><p>Its fleece was white as snow</p><p>And everywhere that Mary went</p><p>The lamb was sure to go</p><p>She got so fed up with the little fucker following her</p><p>That she killed the cunt</p><p>Barbequed it, and ate the little bastard.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Back in the early days of the Colonies, Captain John Smith was berating the township populace in their monthly meeting.</p><p>He preaches that work isn't getting done, people are lazy and sex is becoming rampant and deviate. People have been observed having sexual relations with horses, cows, pigs, chickens...</p><p>Right then, from the back of the room, comes an incredulous comment..."Chickens????"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Nine Answers Men Would Like to Give to Woman's Stupid Questions But Never Will....</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. No we can't be friends; I just want you for sex.</p><p>2. The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all that fucking</p><p>ice cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.</p><p>3. You've got no chance of me calling you.</p><p>4. No, I won't be gentle.</p><p>5. Of course you have to swallow.</p><p>6. Well yes actually, I do this all the time.</p><p>7. I hate your friends.</p><p>8. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of</p><p>speaking to you after tonight.</p><p>9. I'd rather watch a porno.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3612300, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]George And God[/COLOR][/B] 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The light goes on when I pee, and then (Poof!) the light goes off when I'm done." "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (Poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (Poof!) the light goes off?" "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Mary had a little lamb Its fleece was white as snow And everywhere that Mary went The lamb was sure to go She got so fed up with the little fucker following her That she killed the cunt Barbequed it, and ate the little bastard. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Back in the early days of the Colonies, Captain John Smith was berating the township populace in their monthly meeting. He preaches that work isn't getting done, people are lazy and sex is becoming rampant and deviate. People have been observed having sexual relations with horses, cows, pigs, chickens... Right then, from the back of the room, comes an incredulous comment..."Chickens????" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Nine Answers Men Would Like to Give to Woman's Stupid Questions But Never Will....[/COLOR][/B] 1. No we can't be friends; I just want you for sex. 2. The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all that fucking ice cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat. 3. You've got no chance of me calling you. 4. No, I won't be gentle. 5. Of course you have to swallow. 6. Well yes actually, I do this all the time. 7. I hate your friends. 8. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you after tonight. 9. I'd rather watch a porno. [/QUOTE]
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