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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3610888" data-attributes="member: 14320">TurpintineA little boy was sitting on the curb with agallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watchingall the bubbles. A little while later a Priestcame along and asked the little boy what he had.The little boy replied, "This is the most powerfulliquid in the world. It's called turpentine."The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquidin the world is Holy Water. If you take someof this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women'sbelly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy."The little boy replied, "Dude, that ain'tshit. You take some of this here turpentineand rub it on my cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle."========Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staringinto their drinks. One got a curious look on his face and asked,"Hey, Pete! You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?""Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years."========A young man walked up to a girl, and said, "Hi. How's itgoing?""Listen," she said, "I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere.Front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've beendoing it since I graduated from college. I just love it!""No kidding?" he responded. "I'm a lawyer too! Whatfirm are you with?"========A jealous husband hired a private detectiveto check on the movements of his wife. The husbandwanted more than a written report; he wantedvideo of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with avideo. They sat down together to watch it. Althoughthe quality was less than professional, the mansaw his wife meeting another man!He saw the two of them laughing in the park.He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoorcafe.He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.He saw the man and his wife participate in adozen activities with utter glee."I just can't believe this," the distraughthusband said.The detective said, "What's not to believe?It's right up there on the screen!"The husband replied, "I can't believe thatmy wife could be so much fun!"========Daffynition: A perfect 10 - a girl with no teeth who is waist high andhas a flat head on which you can set your drink.Daffynition: A Cinderella perfect 10 - a girl who sucks and fucks untilthe stroke of midnight and then turns into a pizza and a six pack.</blockquote>

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