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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3610888" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Turpintine</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little boy was sitting on the curb with a</p><p>gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching</p><p>all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest</p><p>came along and asked the little boy what he had.</p><p>The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful</p><p>liquid in the world. It's called turpentine."</p><p>The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid</p><p>in the world is Holy Water. If you take some</p><p>of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's</p><p>belly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy."</p><p>The little boy replied, "Dude, that ain't</p><p>shit. You take some of this here turpentine</p><p>and rub it on my cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p>Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staring</p><p>into their drinks. One got a curious look on his face and asked,</p><p>"Hey, Pete! You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?"</p><p>"Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p>A young man walked up to a girl, and said, "Hi. How's it</p><p>going?"</p><p>"Listen," she said, "I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere.</p><p>Front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been</p><p>doing it since I graduated from college. I just love it!"</p><p>"No kidding?" he responded. "I'm a lawyer too! What</p><p>firm are you with?"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p>A jealous husband hired a private detective</p><p>to check on the movements of his wife. The husband</p><p>wanted more than a written report; he wanted</p><p>video of his wife's activities.</p><p>A week later, the detective returned with a</p><p>video. They sat down together to watch it. Although</p><p>the quality was less than professional, the man</p><p>saw his wife meeting another man!</p><p>He saw the two of them laughing in the park.</p><p>He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor</p><p>cafe.</p><p>He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.</p><p>He saw the man and his wife participate in a</p><p>dozen activities with utter glee.</p><p>"I just can't believe this," the distraught</p><p>husband said.</p><p>The detective said, "What's not to believe?</p><p>It's right up there on the screen!"</p><p>The husband replied, "I can't believe that</p><p>my wife could be so much fun!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p>Daffynition: A perfect 10 - a girl with no teeth who is waist high and</p><p>has a flat head on which you can set your drink.</p><p></p><p>Daffynition: A Cinderella perfect 10 - a girl who sucks and fucks until</p><p>the stroke of midnight and then turns into a pizza and a six pack.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3610888, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Turpintine[/COLOR][/B] A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world. It's called turpentine." The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy." The little boy replied, "Dude, that ain't shit. You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on my cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle." [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staring into their drinks. One got a curious look on his face and asked, "Hey, Pete! You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?" "Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years." [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] A young man walked up to a girl, and said, "Hi. How's it going?" "Listen," she said, "I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere. Front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it since I graduated from college. I just love it!" "No kidding?" he responded. "I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?" [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee. "I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said. The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!" The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!" [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] Daffynition: A perfect 10 - a girl with no teeth who is waist high and has a flat head on which you can set your drink. Daffynition: A Cinderella perfect 10 - a girl who sucks and fucks until the stroke of midnight and then turns into a pizza and a six pack. [/QUOTE]
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