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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3606210" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A man walks into a doctor's office and the doctor says to him,</p><p>" I've got some good news and some bad news."</p><p>"Tell me the good news first," the patient says.</p><p></p><p>"The good news is that your penis is going to be two inches</p><p>longer and an inch wider,"the doctor replies.</p><p>"That's great!" says the patient." What's the bad news?"</p><p></p><p>The doctor says, "It's malignant."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A college student picked up his date at her parents home.</p><p>He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a</p><p>fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost</p><p>everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster,</p><p>champagne. . . the works.</p><p></p><p>Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this</p><p>at home?"</p><p></p><p>"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A gynaecologist examines a lesbian and remarked "Madam that is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen"</p><p>She replied "Thank you, I have a woman in twice a week !"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of</p><p>old ladies running around with tattoos?</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p>A man and his wife are screwing. Fifteen minutes has passed, thirty</p><p>minutes, then 45 minutes. Sweat is pouring off both of them. After a</p><p>few more moments, the wife comments "Can't you think of anyone either?"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal"><strong>Misunderstood</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar.</p><p>"Do you want to dance?" asks the man.</p><p>"I don't care much for this song and wouldn't be caught dead dancing</p><p>with you anyway," snips the woman.</p><p>"Oh, excuse me, you must have misunderstood -- I said you look FAT in</p><p>those pants!!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_____</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p>On their wedding night, a young couple finally retired to their hotel</p><p>room. After making her preparations, the bride left the bathroom to</p><p>find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed.</p><p>"What are you doing?" she asked.</p><p>"I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man.</p><p>"I'll take care of that," she replied. "You better pray for endurance."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3606210, member: 14320"] A man walks into a doctor's office and the doctor says to him, " I've got some good news and some bad news." "Tell me the good news first," the patient says. "The good news is that your penis is going to be two inches longer and an inch wider,"the doctor replies. "That's great!" says the patient." What's the bad news?" The doctor says, "It's malignant." [B][COLOR="Red"]_____[/COLOR][/B] A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . . the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid." [B][COLOR="Red"]_____[/COLOR][/B] A gynaecologist examines a lesbian and remarked "Madam that is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen" She replied "Thank you, I have a woman in twice a week !" [B][COLOR="Red"]_____[/COLOR][/B] Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? [B][COLOR="Red"]_____ [/COLOR][/B] A man and his wife are screwing. Fifteen minutes has passed, thirty minutes, then 45 minutes. Sweat is pouring off both of them. After a few more moments, the wife comments "Can't you think of anyone either?" [B][COLOR="Red"]_____[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="Teal"][B]Misunderstood[/B][/COLOR] A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar. "Do you want to dance?" asks the man. "I don't care much for this song and wouldn't be caught dead dancing with you anyway," snips the woman. "Oh, excuse me, you must have misunderstood -- I said you look FAT in those pants!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]_____ [/COLOR][/B] On their wedding night, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride left the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man. "I'll take care of that," she replied. "You better pray for endurance." [/QUOTE]
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