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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3605499" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> "Barbender, Barbender"</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A very drunk lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.</p><p></p><p>"Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy", again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, "Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn."</p><p></p><p>Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">O)O)O</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?</p><p>They both get loaded from the rear and go Woo-Whoo!</p><p></p><p>If it tastes like chicken, keep on licking... If it tastes like trout,</p><p>get the fuck out!</p><p></p><p>Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?</p><p>A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">:::::</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man took a young woman to an X-rated movie, purchased some</p><p>refreshments and showed his date to her seat.</p><p></p><p>Soon after the onscreen action started, she put her hand on the</p><p>man's lap. Looking over at him, she remarked: "I see this is</p><p>getting you excited, too. But how come it's so cold?"</p><p></p><p>"Because you're jerking off my popsicle!" the man replied.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">%%%%%</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow".</p><p></p><p>Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens".</p><p></p><p>She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother".</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."</p><p></p><p>"Listen Honey," drawled the lady, "If you can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3605499, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] "Barbender, Barbender"[/COLOR][/B] A very drunk lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. "Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy", again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, "Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn." Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray." [B][COLOR="Red"]O)O)O[/COLOR][/B] What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go Woo-Whoo! If it tastes like chicken, keep on licking... If it tastes like trout, get the fuck out! Q: What do Michael and homework have in common? A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids [B][COLOR="Red"]:::::[/COLOR][/B] A man took a young woman to an X-rated movie, purchased some refreshments and showed his date to her seat. Soon after the onscreen action started, she put her hand on the man's lap. Looking over at him, she remarked: "I see this is getting you excited, too. But how come it's so cold?" "Because you're jerking off my popsicle!" the man replied. [B][COLOR="Red"]%%%%%[/COLOR][/B] A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother". [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action." "Listen Honey," drawled the lady, "If you can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested." [/QUOTE]
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