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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3584941" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Clues That We Should Probably Call It A Night</strong></p><p></p><p><em><strong>Remember these when you've had just a bit too much to drink...</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>although, you'll probably be too drunk to remember</strong></em></p><p></p><p>1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.</p><p></p><p>2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my</p><p>booty while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance moves around.</p><p></p><p>3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly</p><p>believe I could do it too.</p><p></p><p>4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy</p><p>Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.</p><p></p><p>5. I drop my 3:00 am breakfast taco on the floor (which I'm eating</p><p>even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on</p><p>eating it.</p><p></p><p>6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo</p><p>much.</p><p></p><p>7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.</p><p></p><p>8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.</p><p></p><p>9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.</p><p></p><p>10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and</p><p>sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.</p><p></p><p>11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I</p><p>keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.</p><p></p><p>12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.</p><p></p><p>13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me</p><p>just lemonade, but that's because I can no longer taste the gin.</p><p></p><p>14. I think I'm not in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the</p><p>kitchen floor.</p><p></p><p>15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the</p><p>WRONG WAY but...</p><p></p><p>16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.</p><p></p><p>17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.</p><p></p><p>18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be</p><p>standing) and take a quick nap.</p><p></p><p>19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut</p><p>down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.</p><p></p><p>20. I take my shoes off because I think it's their fault that I'm</p><p>having problems walking straight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3584941, member: 14320"] [B]Clues That We Should Probably Call It A Night[/B] [I][B]Remember these when you've had just a bit too much to drink... although, you'll probably be too drunk to remember[/B][/I] 1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is. 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my booty while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance moves around. 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. 4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago. 5. I drop my 3:00 am breakfast taco on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it. 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much. 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work. 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me. 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher. 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming. 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy. 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's because I can no longer taste the gin. 14. I think I'm not in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor. 15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but... 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it. 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap. 19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink. 20. I take my shoes off because I think it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight. [/QUOTE]
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