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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3573809" data-attributes="member: 14320">Things To Do In A Department Store:1. Get the boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts whenthey are not looking.2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Ithink we have a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off andturn the volumes to 10.6. Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift wrap.7. Put M&M's on layaway.8. Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll onlyinvite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Whywon't you people leave me alone?"11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror whileyou pick your nose.12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scalebattlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.14. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if heknows where the anti-depressants are.15. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "MissionImpossible".17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.18. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using differentsize funnels.19. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICKME! PICK ME!!!!!!"20. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetalposition and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."21. Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get outmuch and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.22. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud ...."Hey we're out oftoilet paper in here!"</blockquote>

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