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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3560869" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Great Shorties</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him ," asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Dad, was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why, Dad? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was a young man from Rangoon,</p><p>Whose farts could be heard to the moon.</p><p>When you'd least expect 'em,</p><p>They'd burst from his rectum</p><p>With the force of a raging typhoon.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Why do West Virginians like to screw sheep at the edge of a cliff?</p><p>A: The sheep tend to push back harder that way!! </p><p></p><p>Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?</p><p>Boy: I tried it once, but their ass holes are too small.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"I don't get along with nurses. They're vicious to women. When my friend Trudy was in labor, the nurse looked down at her and said, 'Still think blondes have more fun?'" </p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims, "Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?" Her surprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups when I do it that way."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>So I said to my office mate "Man, your new girlfriend sure is big and ugly." And he says "So is my cock, but that doesn't stop me from having a good time with it."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3560869, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Great Shorties[/COLOR][/B] A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him ," asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Dad, was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why, Dad? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] There was a young man from Rangoon, Whose farts could be heard to the moon. When you'd least expect 'em, They'd burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Q: Why do West Virginians like to screw sheep at the edge of a cliff? A: The sheep tend to push back harder that way!! Girl: Do you believe in puppy love? Boy: I tried it once, but their ass holes are too small. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind." [B][COLOR="Red"] ~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away! [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue." [B][COLOR="Red"] ~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] "I don't get along with nurses. They're vicious to women. When my friend Trudy was in labor, the nurse looked down at her and said, 'Still think blondes have more fun?'" [B][COLOR="Red"] ~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims, "Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?" Her surprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups when I do it that way." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] So I said to my office mate "Man, your new girlfriend sure is big and ugly." And he says "So is my cock, but that doesn't stop me from having a good time with it." [/QUOTE]
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