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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3528183" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> Signs You Had A Bad First Date</span></strong></p><p></p><p>* Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother</p><p>* You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her</p><p>* She has a thicker moustache than you</p><p>* When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions</p><p>* You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole</p><p>* Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system</p><p>* You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass</p><p>* You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic</p><p>* She beats the crap out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut</p><p>* You wake up the next morning with a wickedhang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno</p><p>* At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill</p><p>* You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh</p><p>* She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan</p><p>* She is better hung than you</p><p>* She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her</p><p>* She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you</p><p>* She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"> yyyyyyyyy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A Jewish girl came home one day and says, "Ma, I got married." Her mother says, "That's great!"</p><p>The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab." Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."</p><p>The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives."</p><p>Six months later, the Jewish girl walks into the house and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is screw me in my ass. Day and night, all he'll do is bang me in the ass. When I got married, my asshole was like a dime. Now it's like a silver dollar."</p><p>Her mother says, "So for ninety cents, you're going to make trouble?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3528183, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] Signs You Had A Bad First Date[/COLOR][/B] * Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother * You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her * She has a thicker moustache than you * When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions * You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole * Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system * You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass * You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic * She beats the crap out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut * You wake up the next morning with a wickedhang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno * At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill * You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh * She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan * She is better hung than you * She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her * She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you * She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you [B][COLOR="Red"] yyyyyyyyy[/COLOR][/B] A Jewish girl came home one day and says, "Ma, I got married." Her mother says, "That's great!" The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab." Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great." The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives." Six months later, the Jewish girl walks into the house and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is screw me in my ass. Day and night, all he'll do is bang me in the ass. When I got married, my asshole was like a dime. Now it's like a silver dollar." Her mother says, "So for ninety cents, you're going to make trouble?" [/QUOTE]
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