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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3509794" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Long List Of Lesbian Q&A Jokes</strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Why do lesbians like whales so much?</p><p>A: Because they have 50 foot tongues and breath out of the top of their heads!</p><p></p><p>Q: What do my girlfriend and Jack Daniels have in common?</p><p>A: They are both hard liqueurs.</p><p></p><p>Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?</p><p>A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.</p><p></p><p>Q: Is there anything a penis can do that a finger or tongue can't do?</p><p>A: Well urinate comes to mind. </p><p></p><p>Q: What can two femmes do in bed?</p><p>A: Each other's makeup.</p><p></p><p>Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?</p><p>A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call 2 butches bonding?</p><p>A: Hockey Night in Canada</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian with 10 girlfriends?</p><p>A: A bush-hog!</p><p></p><p>Q: How many femmes does it take to change a tire?</p><p>A: 2 - one to call AAA and one to whine about the grease on her skirt</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?</p><p>A: Gaylick</p><p></p><p>Q: What did Ellen DeGeneres say to Kathie Lee Gifford?</p><p>A: May I be Frank with you tonight?</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian who lives up north?</p><p>A: A Klondyke.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?</p><p>A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?</p><p>(Sung to the theme of the Klondyke ice cream bar commercials.)</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian's closet?</p><p>A: A lick-her cabinet.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?</p><p>A: Single!</p><p></p><p>Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?</p><p>A: Depends</p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear that k.d. lang died?</p><p>A: She was found face down in Ricki Lake</p><p>(With a smile on her face no doubt!)</p><p></p><p>Q: Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time?</p><p>A: You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?</p><p>A: Toys for Twats</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?</p><p>A: A bush hog</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?</p><p>A: A weedeater</p><p></p><p>Q: What did one lesbian say to another?</p><p>A: "Your face or mine?"</p><p></p><p>Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?</p><p>A: Tongue in cheek.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the definition of confusion?</p><p>A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do lesbians like to have gay male friends?</p><p>A: Someone has to do the cooking!</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?</p><p>A: Someone has to mow the yard.</p><p></p><p>Q: How can you tell if you have a butch dyke co-worker?</p><p>A: You find the toilet seat up when she leaves the stall.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call lesbian dinosaurs?</p><p>A: The lickalotopuss and the clitolickumus.</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you know if you have lesbians living next door?</p><p>A: Frequent U Hauls in front of the house.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles?</p><p>A: Militia Etheridge</p><p></p><p>Q: What does it mean when 2 lesbians have sex?</p><p>A: It don't mean dick!</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?</p><p>A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the lesbian mating call?</p><p>A: "I'm *so* drunk!"</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?</p><p>A: Well hung</p><p></p><p>Q: If man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, what do lesbians need?</p><p>A: A liqueur license.</p><p>(And 1,203 marches on Washington, 476 lawyers, 3.5 million dollars, and an act of Congress!)</p><p></p><p>Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?</p><p>A: You don't taste like chicken!</p><p></p><p>Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?</p><p>A: A crack in the ceiling.</p><p></p><p>Q: What has 4 legs and eats ants?</p><p>A: 2 other aunts</p><p></p><p>Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p><p>A: 2 if they're small enough (think about that one for a minute!)</p><p></p><p>Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p><p>A: Light? Who needs light? We prefer to do it in the dark!</p><p></p><p>Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p><p>A: 5 - 1 to screw it in and 4 to bitch about the man who invented it</p><p></p><p>Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?</p><p>A: Both of them.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a room full of 50 politicians and 50 lesbians?</p><p>A: 100 people who don't do dick!</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian?</p><p>A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.</p><p>(This is a visual joke, but I did the best that I could!)</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a woman who can't get her tongue back in her mouth?</p><p>(Visualize a woman trying to talk with her tongue rigidly sticking out of her mouth.)</p><p>A: A lesbian with a hard on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3509794, member: 14320"] [B]Long List Of Lesbian Q&A Jokes[/B] Q: Why do lesbians like whales so much? A: Because they have 50 foot tongues and breath out of the top of their heads! Q: What do my girlfriend and Jack Daniels have in common? A: They are both hard liqueurs. Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons. Q: Is there anything a penis can do that a finger or tongue can't do? A: Well urinate comes to mind. Q: What can two femmes do in bed? A: Each other's makeup. Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee? A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off. Q: What do you call 2 butches bonding? A: Hockey Night in Canada Q: What do you call a lesbian with 10 girlfriends? A: A bush-hog! Q: How many femmes does it take to change a tire? A: 2 - one to call AAA and one to whine about the grease on her skirt Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian? A: Gaylick Q: What did Ellen DeGeneres say to Kathie Lee Gifford? A: May I be Frank with you tonight? Q: What do you call a lesbian who lives up north? A: A Klondyke. Q: What's the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians? A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar? (Sung to the theme of the Klondyke ice cream bar commercials.) Q: What do you call a lesbian's closet? A: A lick-her cabinet. Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? A: Single! Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like? A: Depends Q: Did you hear that k.d. lang died? A: She was found face down in Ricki Lake (With a smile on her face no doubt!) Q: Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time? A: You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face! Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian? A: A bush hog Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian? A: A weedeater Q: What did one lesbian say to another? A: "Your face or mine?" Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like? A: Tongue in cheek. Q: What is the definition of confusion? A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market. Q: Why do lesbians like to have gay male friends? A: Someone has to do the cooking! Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends? A: Someone has to mow the yard. Q: How can you tell if you have a butch dyke co-worker? A: You find the toilet seat up when she leaves the stall. Q: What do you call lesbian dinosaurs? A: The lickalotopuss and the clitolickumus. Q: How do you know if you have lesbians living next door? A: Frequent U Hauls in front of the house. Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles? A: Militia Etheridge Q: What does it mean when 2 lesbians have sex? A: It don't mean dick! Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian? A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball! Q: What's the lesbian mating call? A: "I'm *so* drunk!" Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? A: Well hung Q: If man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, what do lesbians need? A: A liqueur license. (And 1,203 marches on Washington, 476 lawyers, 3.5 million dollars, and an act of Congress!) Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other? A: You don't taste like chicken! Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall? A: A crack in the ceiling. Q: What has 4 legs and eats ants? A: 2 other aunts Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 2 if they're small enough (think about that one for a minute!) Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Light? Who needs light? We prefer to do it in the dark! Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 5 - 1 to screw it in and 4 to bitch about the man who invented it Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Both of them. Q: What do you call a room full of 50 politicians and 50 lesbians? A: 100 people who don't do dick! Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian? A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker. (This is a visual joke, but I did the best that I could!) Q: What do you call a woman who can't get her tongue back in her mouth? (Visualize a woman trying to talk with her tongue rigidly sticking out of her mouth.) A: A lesbian with a hard on. [/QUOTE]
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