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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3478091" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Future Wife's Marriage ConditionsDear soon-to-be husband,I thank you whole-heartedly for considering me to be your future wife.We have a very bright future ahead of us, and it can be even brighter ifyou take note to a few things that are a part of what makes a marriagebetween a man and a woman work and become successful. Please take thetime to read over the conditions below that I have set-forth for you.1. I will not do any dishes by hand, if you expect me to do dishes,either hire a maid or buy a dishwasher. You can locate one at anyappliance store between $200 and $400.2. I will not wash your laundry in the bathtub while you work over-timeto save up for a washer. I will not pack wet clothes into a laundrybasket and tote it to any clothes line. I must have a working washerand dryer to do laundry. If you expect me to pack our dirty laundryinto my vehicle and take it to a public Laundromat, you can do ityourself....3 towns away where no one knows us.3. I will not get on my hands and knees to scrub any floors. I musthave a Swiffer mop and Swiffer broom if you expect to have clean floors.That manual stuff is for the birds...or you can again, hire a maid.4. I will not clean up after your friends at anytime during ourmarriage. If they make a mess be it puke, piss or simply leaving theirglass on the coffee table....it's your responsibility and not mine!5. I will not entertain your folks while you skip out on me. If yourfolks come over for the day or the weekend, I expect you to give me theNeiman Marcus card and JC Penny card so that I may go on an all dayshopping venture or at least the Master Card so that I can rent a roomin the town's finest hotel. There is no way I am doing your job foryou!6. I will not take out the trash. If you won't do it, look forward torepairing the garbage disposal in the sink because that is where the tvremote, your cell phone, your car keys, and your baseball cards will goif I EVER have to ask you to take out the trash more than once!7. I am not about to stoop over and pick up your clothing from thefloor. If you leave your clothes on the floor and they are not placedin the laundry hamper, I will politely donate them to the Good Will orto some other agency...I don't care if you did drive to one hundreddifferent stores to find your favorite shirt.8. I will not tolerate your neglect to flush after you use the bathroom.I don't like sitting on a pissy toilet seat or having dirty watersplashing up on my ass so if you want to avoid me taking a piss onyou...you'll flush! Plain and simple!9. You are responsible for paying 70% of the bills. I pay less becausesociety, after all these years, is still critical of a woman in theworkplace, therefore you make more then me. Every time you get a raise,you get another bill.10. Sex is something that we should both enjoy. Therefore when I say Idon't feel like it, don't ask me again later. For every time you ask mefor sex, after I have told you once that I don't feel like it, isanother day you don't get any. If I ask you for sex and you put me off,your friend gets it and you still don't get any.Sincerely..Your soon-to-be Wife</blockquote>