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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3392309" data-attributes="member: 14320">Two Starving BumsThese two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?""Hell no!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talking! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!"~~~~~~~Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers.The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink.The women says, "Sure, if you fuck me."The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your fat smelly ass."The second man wants to live and agree's to do the deed. The second man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside. The women says, "fuck me then!"The man agrees to do it only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full of corn on the cob. He picks one up, fucks her with it and throws it out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water.The friend replies, "Fuck the water, I want some more of that buttered corn."</blockquote>

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