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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3385943" data-attributes="member: 14320">Husband And WifeA husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,"Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering forweeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Doesit look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't thinkso.""Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." Towhich he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I haveWestinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so.""Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the frontdoor? They're about to break.""I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says."Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don'tthink so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides togo home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the stepsare already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light isworking. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed."Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then anice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to doall the repairs, and all I had to do was either give him a blow job andfuck him, or bake him a cake."He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"She replied, "Hellooooooo........ Do you see Betty Crocker written on myforehead? ~~~~~~~~My urologist told me all his patients were dicks.My proctologist has a bunch of ass holes for patients.^*^Hear about the 2 gay Irish Lovers?Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick FitzGerald^*^Then there was the poor girl who found out that the guy she'd marriedwas gay.On her wedding night she didn't know which way to turn!^*^What do you get when you cross a penis with an oriental?A cock-ASAIN^*^Why do Doctors slap a baby's bottom when they're born?To knock the penis off of the stupid ones.^*^A Slut is a woman that will sleep with anyone.A Bitch is a woman that will sleep with anyone but you.All women are Bitches.^*^When a woman says "No!" she really means "Yes!" --except, of course,when she means "NO!"^*^Why is eating pussy like dealing with the Mafia?One slip of the tongue and your in deep SHIT!!^*^Why can't a woman go 68 MPH on the highway?Because at 69 they blow a rod!^*^How do you tell if you've had a really good night of Oral Sex?You wake up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of yourmouth.^*^Platonic Relationship:What develops after two good friends are tired of fucking each other^*^Q. How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?A. Douche in beer.^*^What do women and condoms have in common?If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.^*^Women are just like orange juice cartons. It's not the shape or the sizethat matters, or even how sweet the juice is. It's getting those fuckingflaps to open!</blockquote>

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