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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3356242" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"</p><p></p><p>To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One day God is walking through the Garden of Eden and sees Adam standing</p><p>in front of the fountain of life sticking his head down into the water.</p><p></p><p>God says, "Adam, what are you doing?"</p><p></p><p>Adam says, "Lord I'm gargling."</p><p></p><p>God says, "I can see that Adam but why are you doing it?"</p><p></p><p>Adam explains, "Well Lord Eve and I just got through having oral sex and</p><p>I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth. You don't mind do you?"</p><p></p><p>God thought for a moment and said, "I guess not Adam but it's going to</p><p>take forever to get the smell out of the fish."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One day Little Johnny asks his dad, "What's the difference between a</p><p>pussy and a cunt?"</p><p></p><p>Dad thought for a minute and said "Come with me."</p><p></p><p>He took Little Johnny to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping</p><p>nude. "Son" he</p><p></p><p>whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy."</p><p></p><p>Little Johnny asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?"</p><p></p><p>"No!" replied his father. "That might wake the cunt up."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and</p><p>squealing with</p><p>delight.</p><p></p><p>Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have</p><p>any idea how</p><p>ridiculous you look? What`s the matter with you?"</p><p></p><p>The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don`t</p><p>care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the</p><p>breasts of an 18 year old."</p><p></p><p>The husband said, "What did he say about your 65 year old</p><p>ass?"</p><p></p><p>"Your name never came up," she replied.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3356242, member: 14320"] Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] One day God is walking through the Garden of Eden and sees Adam standing in front of the fountain of life sticking his head down into the water. God says, "Adam, what are you doing?" Adam says, "Lord I'm gargling." God says, "I can see that Adam but why are you doing it?" Adam explains, "Well Lord Eve and I just got through having oral sex and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth. You don't mind do you?" God thought for a moment and said, "I guess not Adam but it's going to take forever to get the smell out of the fish." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] One day Little Johnny asks his dad, "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" Dad thought for a minute and said "Come with me." He took Little Johnny to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude. "Son" he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." Little Johnny asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake the cunt up." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What`s the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don`t care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old." The husband said, "What did he say about your 65 year old ass?" "Your name never came up," she replied. [/QUOTE]
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