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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3340276" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Bar JokesA guy sees his buddy in a bar and says, "You're not going to believe this, but I've got a wild nymphomaniac in my car out in the parking lot. She's wearing me out! Can you go out to the car and keep her busy? The dome light is off, so she won't know you're not me!" His friend agrees and goes out to his car. They climb into the back seat and start going at it. A few minutes later, a cop sees them and starts banging on the window, shining his flashlight inside. "What the hell do you two think you're doing?" The guy says, "Oh, there's nothing wrong, she's my wife." The cop says, "Oh, sorry, I didn't know." The guy says "Neither did I until you shined that light in here."====A guy walks up to a woman in a bar and asks, "Can I smell your pussy?"Offended, the woman says, "NO!!"The man replies, "Then it must be your feet."====A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila. The bartender asks, "Why so many buddy?" The man replies, "I'm celebrating my first blow job". The bartender says, "Well hell, congratulations, I will give you one on the house for free." The man says, "No thank you, if the first 6 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't make a difference."=====A policeman cruising past a bar after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out front. He goes around the back of the pub only to find two bikers, one with his fingers up the ass of the other."So, what's going on here?", the cop asks.The biker replies, "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit."The cop says, "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!"The biker replies, "That's what I'm going to do next!"====Three guys are having a drink at the bar when a drunk comes stumbling in off the street. The drunk points at the tallest guy in the middle and exclaims in a loud voice, "Hey you! I screwed your mother rotten last night!" The guy in the middle shrugs and continues his conversation with his friends. Frustrated by the lack of response, the drunk stumbles back into the street. A few minutes later the drunk stumbles into the same bar, points a grimy finger at the same guy and yells, "Did you hear me, asshole?! I said I fucked your mother last night and she was great!". Finally, the tall guy in middle responds, "I know dad! I heard you the first time now go home!"====A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks, "Where do you live?".Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts him in the back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the guy's house, the man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3 times before getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell and the guy's wife comes to the door. The man says, "Hello, I've brought your husband home."The wife looks at the man and asks, "Where's his wheel chair?"</blockquote>

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