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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3317664" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A priest, a nun, Little Johnny, and a lawyer are out fishing in the Gulf</p><p>of Mexico. They fail to notice that they have drifted out of sight of</p><p>land, until the small boat they are in begins to take on water and begin</p><p>to sink.</p><p></p><p>Looking frantically for life preservers, they discover, to their horror,</p><p>that they have only one.</p><p></p><p>"Gentlemen, we adults have already lived good lives," said the Nun, "we</p><p>should give Little Johnny a chance also, give him the life preserver, he</p><p>has his whole life ahead of him."</p><p></p><p>"Fuck the kid," said the lawyer.</p><p></p><p>Glancing quickly at his watch, the priest replied, "Gee, do you really</p><p>think we have enough time...?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What Wives from different countries say during sex:</p><p></p><p>Italian : Oh, Giovanni, you are the world's greatest lover!</p><p></p><p>French : Ah, Pierre my darling, you are marvelous! More! More!</p><p></p><p>African: Oh mon, you're as big as an elephant!</p><p></p><p>Spanish: OOOh, Ricardo, you are so romantic!</p><p></p><p>Jewish : Oy, Jake, the ceiling needs painting!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Why does a blonde insist on her boyfriend wearing a condom?</p><p>So she can have a doggie bag for later.</p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>~~~~~</strong></span></p><p>Definition of a really good friend:</p><p>A Really good friend will go Downtown and get 2 blowjobs, and then come</p><p>back and give you one!!!!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p>"Doctor, that rectal exam hurt like hell. What did you do?" asked John.</p><p>"I used two fingers." Said the doctor.</p><p>"What for?" asked John.</p><p>"I needed a second opinion."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p>Two women were having coffee, when one said, "I used to call my ex</p><p>'Superman' when we were in bed." The second commented, "How flattering!"</p><p>to which the first replied, "Not really! I meant that he was faster</p><p>than a speeding bullet."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man is at the dentist's for a check-up.</p><p></p><p>As the dentist leans over, he asks, "Well, so you had a little 69 this</p><p>morning, eh?"</p><p></p><p>"How did you know?" asks the man, embarrassed but also amazed at his</p><p>dentist's perception. "Was it the smell on my breath?"</p><p></p><p>"No" says the dentist.</p><p></p><p>"Well, did you see a pubic hair caught in my teeth?" asks the man.</p><p></p><p>"No" says the dentist.</p><p></p><p>"Well, what then? How did you know?" asks the man, losing patience.</p><p></p><p>The dentist says "There's a little bit of shit on the end of your nose."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3317664, member: 14320"] A priest, a nun, Little Johnny, and a lawyer are out fishing in the Gulf of Mexico. They fail to notice that they have drifted out of sight of land, until the small boat they are in begins to take on water and begin to sink. Looking frantically for life preservers, they discover, to their horror, that they have only one. "Gentlemen, we adults have already lived good lives," said the Nun, "we should give Little Johnny a chance also, give him the life preserver, he has his whole life ahead of him." "Fuck the kid," said the lawyer. Glancing quickly at his watch, the priest replied, "Gee, do you really think we have enough time...?" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] What Wives from different countries say during sex: Italian : Oh, Giovanni, you are the world's greatest lover! French : Ah, Pierre my darling, you are marvelous! More! More! African: Oh mon, you're as big as an elephant! Spanish: OOOh, Ricardo, you are so romantic! Jewish : Oy, Jake, the ceiling needs painting! [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Why does a blonde insist on her boyfriend wearing a condom? So she can have a doggie bag for later. [COLOR="Red"][B]~~~~~[/B][/COLOR] Definition of a really good friend: A Really good friend will go Downtown and get 2 blowjobs, and then come back and give you one!!!! [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] "Doctor, that rectal exam hurt like hell. What did you do?" asked John. "I used two fingers." Said the doctor. "What for?" asked John. "I needed a second opinion." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Two women were having coffee, when one said, "I used to call my ex 'Superman' when we were in bed." The second commented, "How flattering!" to which the first replied, "Not really! I meant that he was faster than a speeding bullet." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] A man is at the dentist's for a check-up. As the dentist leans over, he asks, "Well, so you had a little 69 this morning, eh?" "How did you know?" asks the man, embarrassed but also amazed at his dentist's perception. "Was it the smell on my breath?" "No" says the dentist. "Well, did you see a pubic hair caught in my teeth?" asks the man. "No" says the dentist. "Well, what then? How did you know?" asks the man, losing patience. The dentist says "There's a little bit of shit on the end of your nose." [/QUOTE]
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