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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3294165" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Christmas Ball Warmers</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Three blondes are sitting in a café, talking about what to get their</p><p>boyfriends for Christmas.</p><p></p><p>"It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when</p><p>I'm sucking his cock! I think I should get him some ball warmers for</p><p>Christmas."</p><p></p><p>"You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"</p><p></p><p>They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you blow Chris,</p><p>are his balls cold, too?"</p><p></p><p>"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"</p><p>exclaimed Candi.</p><p></p><p>"You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the best way to</p><p>keep a guy! You should try it! It would make a great Christmas gift for</p><p>Chris!"</p><p></p><p>Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet at the café it</p><p>is Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked shiner.</p><p></p><p>"Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?!"</p><p></p><p>"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said.</p><p></p><p>"What on earth for?!" the Jenny asked.</p><p></p><p>"I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas present</p><p>like you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was that his balls</p><p>were so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so cold, and he punched me!"</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Santa’s Pickup Lines</span></strong></p><p></p><p>*^* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?</p><p>*^* Wanna see my 12-inch elf?</p><p>*^* I`ve got something special in the sack for you!</p><p>*^* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?</p><p>*^* I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small</p><p>talk, sister!</p><p>*^* Some of my best toys run on batteries.</p><p>*^* Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs.</p><p>calls it)</p><p>*^* I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear,</p><p>do you?</p><p>*^* Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!</p><p>*^* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?</p><p></p><p>Bump: Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her</p><p>11-year-old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?"</p><p>she asked.</p><p></p><p>"Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse and</p><p>stuff," he replied matter-of-factly. The old woman was shocked</p><p>and reported the conversation to her daughter.</p><p></p><p>Her daughter replied, "Mom, this is the Nineties. These days it's</p><p>all part of the curriculum."</p><p></p><p>A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter</p><p>announced that dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past her</p><p>grandson's bedroom and noticed him on his bed, vigorously</p><p>masturbating. "Sonny," she said, "when you're finished with your</p><p>homework, come on downstairs to eat."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3294165, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Christmas Ball Warmers[/COLOR][/B] Three blondes are sitting in a café, talking about what to get their boyfriends for Christmas. "It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his cock! I think I should get him some ball warmers for Christmas." "You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard!" They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?" "Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!" exclaimed Candi. "You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it! It would make a great Christmas gift for Chris!" Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet at the café it is Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked shiner. "Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?!" "Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said. "What on earth for?!" the Jenny asked. "I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas present like you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was that his balls were so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so cold, and he punched me!" [B][COLOR="Teal"]Santa’s Pickup Lines[/COLOR][/B] *^* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh? *^* Wanna see my 12-inch elf? *^* I`ve got something special in the sack for you! *^* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip? *^* I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, sister! *^* Some of my best toys run on batteries. *^* Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it) *^* I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear, do you? *^* Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list! *^* Wanna join the "Mile High" club? Bump: Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her 11-year-old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?" she asked. "Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse and stuff," he replied matter-of-factly. The old woman was shocked and reported the conversation to her daughter. Her daughter replied, "Mom, this is the Nineties. These days it's all part of the curriculum." A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter announced that dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past her grandson's bedroom and noticed him on his bed, vigorously masturbating. "Sonny," she said, "when you're finished with your homework, come on downstairs to eat." [/QUOTE]
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