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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3294165" data-attributes="member: 14320">Christmas Ball WarmersThree blondes are sitting in a café, talking about what to get theirboyfriends for Christmas."It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as ice whenI'm sucking his cock! I think I should get him some ball warmers forChristmas.""You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you blow Chris,are his balls cold, too?""Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"exclaimed Candi."You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the best way tokeep a guy! You should try it! It would make a great Christmas gift forChris!"Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet at the café itis Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked shiner."Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?!""Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said."What on earth for?!" the Jenny asked."I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas presentlike you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was that his ballswere so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so cold, and he punched me!"Santa’s Pickup Lines*^* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?*^* Wanna see my 12-inch elf?*^* I`ve got something special in the sack for you!*^* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?*^* I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the smalltalk, sister!*^* Some of my best toys run on batteries.*^* Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs.calls it)*^* I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear,do you?*^* Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!*^* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?Bump: Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her11-year-old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?"she asked."Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse andstuff," he replied matter-of-factly. The old woman was shockedand reported the conversation to her daughter.Her daughter replied, "Mom, this is the Nineties. These days it'sall part of the curriculum."A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughterannounced that dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past hergrandson's bedroom and noticed him on his bed, vigorouslymasturbating. "Sonny," she said, "when you're finished with yourhomework, come on downstairs to eat."</blockquote>

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