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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3272541" data-attributes="member: 14320">Things You Don't Want To Hear On A Blind Date*I'm glad we have this date tonight. My boyfriend just got out ofprison and I really didn't want to be alone.*Do you mind if we stop by the free clinic? I want to see if my testresults are in.*Before we go out we have to get the rules straight.*Don't worry, I've got the training sessions cut down to an hour ifyou're a good boy and pay attention.*That's odd, you sounded handsome on the phone.*Do you have to shine your bald spot or does that glare just happen?*This is my first date since I was released from Bellevue. They thinkthat schizo-paranoia thing was because of unresolved issue's in my pastlives. By the way, why do you keep calling me Mary?*Turn here! That looks like my husbands car ahead.*You look surprised. Didn't you know I was a male impersonator.*I'm sorry, something came up and I can't make it, but I've arranged formy cousin Grunhilda to go out with you. Have you ever dated a femalewrestler before?~~~~~~~~A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I've just been raped by anelephant!"The stunned doctor replies, "What makes you say that?""Well," says the man holding his hands about a foot orso apart, "my asshole feels this big!""Bend over, and let me have a look." asks the doctor.The guy bends over and sure enough, his arsehole isabout ten inches across."But I thought that elephants only had a long, thinpenis?" states the doctor."Yeah, I know," says the agitated man, "but it fingered me first!"~~~~~~~~A teacher is reading her class the story of Chicken Little, andsays, "Chicken Little ran up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling!The sky is falling!'" She looks at the class and says, "What do youthink the farmer said to that?""I know!" says Rotten Willie. "I'll bet he said, 'Holy fuckingshit! A talking chicken!'"</blockquote>

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