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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3247011" data-attributes="member: 14320">Twins and An Old LadyTwin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible".Joe said, "Oh hell no, face is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl, while they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle".The old woman fainted.The Butler Did ItA wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out until quite late.The couple went to a ball and dinner. After an hour and a half, the Wife told her husband that she was horribly bored and that she preferred to go home and finish some work for the next day.The husband responded that he had to stay for a few more hours to meet some very important people.So the wife went home alone and found the butler spread out on the couch watching TV.She slowly moved towards him and sat down very seductively. She then told him to come closer. Then even closer. She moved forward and whispered in his ear "Take off my dress". "Now take off my bra.""Next remove my shoes and stockings.""Now remove my garter belt and panties"She then looked deep into his eyes and in a sharp voice shouted "The next time I catch you wearing my clothes, you're fired".~~~~~~~~Q. When do you slap a midget? A. When he tells your girlfriend her hair smells nice....What do pubic hair and Brussel sprouts have in common?You just push them out of the way and keep eating.~~~~~A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget.Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!"Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off ?"</blockquote>

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