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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3240391" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>A Sheep Herder</strong></p><p></p><p>A sheep herder made it in to San Antonio, Texas, after ten years</p><p>in the bush. He found a saloon and approached the bartender.</p><p>He told the bartender, "Fuck, man, I need a woman."</p><p></p><p>The bartender said, "There are women all over San Antonio for a price."</p><p></p><p>The sheep herder shook his head. "Just *any* woman won't do.</p><p>I ain't fucked nothin' but goats 'n sheep for the last ten years.</p><p>They got cockle burrs and thorns all around their pussies. My old</p><p>dick is tough, man, I need a good tough piece of ass."</p><p></p><p>The bartender tells him, "Well, you're in luck. The toughest broad in</p><p>all San Antonio has a room right up stairs." The bartender picks up the</p><p>phone, speaks into it for a minute. He tells the sheep herder, "Go on</p><p>up; she's expecting you."</p><p></p><p>The sheep herder grabs a small ice bucket and two Lone Star long necks</p><p>and proceeds up the stairs. When he gets to the room, he says, "Ma'am,</p><p>the barkeep told me you are the toughest broad in town."</p><p></p><p>The lady snarls, "Well, he's a lyin' son of a bitch. I'm the toughest</p><p>broad in Texas, and probably in the whole United States."</p><p></p><p>Excitedly, the sheep herder says, "Well, you're just what I'm looking for!"</p><p>He leaned over to set the ice bucket and bottles on the table.</p><p></p><p>The woman threw her skirt up around her waist and bent over</p><p>and grabbed her ankles. Her asshole was staring right at him. A bit</p><p>surprised, the sheep herder says, "Damn, baby. I know you're tough,</p><p>but I don't wanna do ya that way."</p><p></p><p>The woman snickers. "Hell, honey, I thought you wanted to</p><p>open your damn beers."</p><p></p><p>Bump: A woman walks into the doctors office with a huge boil on her arse. The</p><p>doctor squeezes it, pushes it, and then looks at the hard white pus</p><p>core. He says this is too big a job for me so he sends her to Gus the</p><p>puss sucker.</p><p></p><p>The woman goes to Gus who looks at the bulging red, inflamed boil</p><p>festering with puss and says "this is no problem" and he proceeds to</p><p>press his lips to her arse and sucks out the puss and core of the boil.</p><p></p><p>Halfway through, the woman drops a mammoth fart. Gus stops what he's</p><p>doing, looks up and says "You know lady, its people like you that make</p><p>this job fucking disgusting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3240391, member: 14320"] [B]A Sheep Herder[/B] A sheep herder made it in to San Antonio, Texas, after ten years in the bush. He found a saloon and approached the bartender. He told the bartender, "Fuck, man, I need a woman." The bartender said, "There are women all over San Antonio for a price." The sheep herder shook his head. "Just *any* woman won't do. I ain't fucked nothin' but goats 'n sheep for the last ten years. They got cockle burrs and thorns all around their pussies. My old dick is tough, man, I need a good tough piece of ass." The bartender tells him, "Well, you're in luck. The toughest broad in all San Antonio has a room right up stairs." The bartender picks up the phone, speaks into it for a minute. He tells the sheep herder, "Go on up; she's expecting you." The sheep herder grabs a small ice bucket and two Lone Star long necks and proceeds up the stairs. When he gets to the room, he says, "Ma'am, the barkeep told me you are the toughest broad in town." The lady snarls, "Well, he's a lyin' son of a bitch. I'm the toughest broad in Texas, and probably in the whole United States." Excitedly, the sheep herder says, "Well, you're just what I'm looking for!" He leaned over to set the ice bucket and bottles on the table. The woman threw her skirt up around her waist and bent over and grabbed her ankles. Her asshole was staring right at him. A bit surprised, the sheep herder says, "Damn, baby. I know you're tough, but I don't wanna do ya that way." The woman snickers. "Hell, honey, I thought you wanted to open your damn beers." Bump: A woman walks into the doctors office with a huge boil on her arse. The doctor squeezes it, pushes it, and then looks at the hard white pus core. He says this is too big a job for me so he sends her to Gus the puss sucker. The woman goes to Gus who looks at the bulging red, inflamed boil festering with puss and says "this is no problem" and he proceeds to press his lips to her arse and sucks out the puss and core of the boil. Halfway through, the woman drops a mammoth fart. Gus stops what he's doing, looks up and says "You know lady, its people like you that make this job fucking disgusting. [/QUOTE]
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