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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3237028" data-attributes="member: 14320">Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?A: He buys two cases of beer.Q: Why are cyclones/tornadoes usually named after women?A: Because what starts off as a small blow ends up taking half your house.Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?A: Wiped his ass.Q: How is a woman like a laxative?A: They both irritate the shit out of you.Q: What's the best thing about a blowjob?A: Ten minutes of silence.Bump: A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:1 small box of detergent1 Bar of soap3 individual servings of yogurt2 oranges1 stick of women's deodorant.She then goes to the check out line.Cashier: Oh, you must be singleWoman: You can tell that by what I bought?Cashier: No, you're just fucking ugly!Bump: Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"Billy says " Mas-tur-bate."Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."Little Billy says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."#####Little Jenny is standing in the garden, crying and filling in a hole when the next door neighbour looks over the fence and says "What are you doing there Jenny ?"."I'm burying my goldfish, because he's dead.""Oh dear, what a shame. But isn't that rather a big hole for a goldfish?"."Yes, but he's inside your fucking cat!"#####A middle aged woman is looking in the mirror one evening and says to her husband...."GOD LOOK AT ME, I look fat, old and ugly. Please pay me a compliment""YER FUCKIN EYESIGHT IS RIGHT ON" He says#####This is a hole that never healsThe more you rub it the better it feelsAnd all the soap from here to hellCan never get rid of that fucking smell#####Bananas are better than Men because...- You don't mind swallowing a banana.- Bananas are always stiff.- Bananas don't know how to fart.- A bananas only purpose is to satisfy you.- No one cares if you have two bananas in bed with you at the sametime.- Another woman will never try to steal your banana.- Bananas can last the whole night through.- Even the smallest bananas are at least eight inches long.#####If it tastes like chicken, keep on licking... If it tastes like trout,get the fuck out!#####Young Schmitty was taking confession, when he told the priest that hewas having impure thoughts about his sister. "Is this a sin, Father?"he asked.The priest nodded and said, "Yes Schmitty, indeed it is a sin....Lookat the two beautiful brothers you have."</blockquote>

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