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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064653028" data-attributes="member: 14320">A GenieOne day a woman who was born with no arms and no legs is wheeled out to the beach. While she's lying on her beach towel she notices an oil lamp that has been half buried in the sand beside her. She wriggles over to it and manages to rub her cheek on the lamp. A genie appears and he says "I am the genie of the lamp, you have released me and I grant you one wish."The woman thinks about what she is going to wish for and she replies "I have no arms and no legs. I've never been fucked before, and I wish to get fucked!"So the genie picks up the woman and throws her into the ocean and says "Now you're fucked!"=====A woman is on the witness stand testifying:"I was walking down the sidewalk, when he grabbed me, dragged me into an alley, ripped off my dress, pulled down my panties, and bent me over a garbage can... I...I don't even remember what happened next..."The judge says (jerking off motion), "Make something up! Make something up!"=====A construction worker comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he grabs the guy and drags him naked down the stairs to the garage.He grabs the guy's cock, puts it in a vise, screws it down real tight and removes the handle of the vise. Then he rummages around in a drawer until he finds a hacksaw, which he picks up and displays to the terrified man.The man, wide-eyed, screams, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut off my dick, are you?"The husband hands him the hacksaw and says:"Nope. You are. I'm setting the garage on fire."</blockquote>

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