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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064637093" data-attributes="member: 14320">Jaguar XK-8A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jaguar XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag.The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.In less than five minutes, a policeman pulled up.Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.I can't believe how materialistic you high rolling' lawyers are, he said. You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else.How can you say such a thing? asked the lawyer.The cop replied, didn’t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.OH MY GOD, screamed the lawyer, My Rolex!!!!=====Q: Why are women like pianos?A: If they're not upright, they're grand.Q: What has two legs and eats ants?A: Uncles.Q: What did the midget say to the gorgeous 6'6" blonde hooker?A: Take me to your ladder.</blockquote>

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