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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064635015" data-attributes="member: 14320">Kindergarten TeacherA kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."=====There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.---------- Post added at 11:13 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 05:29 PM ----------His And Her FartsAttention women:Until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns,quit bitching. I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart. Farting around a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck on thewailing bitch station: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FARTED." Yeah it's real hardto believe that guys have the ability to let out air from their colons,call Ripley. Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when theyfart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from theirassholes when they rip one. Women farts smell like old men: Not only isthe elusive potpourri poop-chute a myth, a woman's fart is embarrassingwhereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swishin your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. A real fart is beefy,has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consistsof the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wipingafterwards. When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient."The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent soundingrelease. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goesinto mapping every woman's brain to her asshole. The efficiency comesfrom the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion tohow weak-sounding it was). The farting double-standard is bullshit.Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops!I'm cute!" No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loudand deny it, or don't fart at all. Leave the farting to men, at least weknow how to get the job done.</blockquote>

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