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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064635015" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Kindergarten Teacher</p><p></p><p>A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".</p><p>Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."</p><p>Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."</p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>There was a young girl who begat </p><p>Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. </p><p>T'was fun in the breeding </p><p>But hell in the feeding </p><p>When she found there's no tit for Tat.<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 11:13 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 05:29 PM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span>His And Her Farts</p><p>Attention women:</p><p></p><p>Until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns,</p><p>quit bitching. I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart. </p><p></p><p>Farting around a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck on the</p><p>wailing bitch station: </p><p>"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FARTED." </p><p></p><p>Yeah it's real hard</p><p>to believe that guys have the ability to let out air from their colons,</p><p>call Ripley. </p><p></p><p>Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when they</p><p>fart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from their</p><p>assholes when they rip one. </p><p></p><p>Women farts smell like old men: Not only is</p><p>the elusive potpourri poop-chute a myth, a woman's fart is embarrassing</p><p>whereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swish</p><p>in your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. </p><p></p><p>A real fart is beefy,</p><p>has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consists</p><p>of the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wiping</p><p>afterwards. </p><p></p><p>When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient."</p><p>The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent sounding</p><p>release. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goes</p><p>into mapping every woman's brain to her asshole. </p><p>The efficiency comes</p><p>from the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion to</p><p>how weak-sounding it was). </p><p></p><p>The farting double-standard is bullshit.</p><p>Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops!</p><p>I'm cute!" </p><p>No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loud</p><p>and deny it, or don't fart at all. </p><p></p><p>Leave the farting to men, at least we</p><p>know how to get the job done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064635015, member: 14320"] Kindergarten Teacher A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy". Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either." Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants." ===== There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.[COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 11:13 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 05:29 PM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR]His And Her Farts Attention women: Until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns, quit bitching. I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart. Farting around a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck on the wailing bitch station: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FARTED." Yeah it's real hard to believe that guys have the ability to let out air from their colons, call Ripley. Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when they fart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from their assholes when they rip one. Women farts smell like old men: Not only is the elusive potpourri poop-chute a myth, a woman's fart is embarrassing whereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swish in your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. A real fart is beefy, has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consists of the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wiping afterwards. When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient." The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent sounding release. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goes into mapping every woman's brain to her asshole. The efficiency comes from the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion to how weak-sounding it was). The farting double-standard is bullshit. Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops! I'm cute!" No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loud and deny it, or don't fart at all. Leave the farting to men, at least we know how to get the job done. [/QUOTE]
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