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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064634534" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Pennsylvania FarmerA Pennsylvania farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something lady dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"The farmer said, "Yes,"and another tear came from the other eye.Then the lady unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.The lady asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn and now I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."=====Seventeen year old Marty came home and announced that he'd gotten laid for the first time.Shocked, his mother slapped him and sent him to his room.When his father got home and heard the news, he dutifully went to see his son.Secretly pleased, he said "Well, Marty, I hope you learned something from this.""Yes, I did, dad." Marty replied. "Next time I won't tell mom, and I'll use Vaseline.My butt is killing me!"</blockquote>

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