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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064610846" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>The Newborn Baby</p><p></p><p>A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future. </p><p></p><p>One day, he made three predictions: "One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die." </p><p></p><p>Sure enough, a year later the young boy died. </p><p></p><p>The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up is wife with a million dollars in life insurance. A year later she died. </p><p></p><p>The father collected the million dollar insurance benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own death, went on a 364-day binge. Fast cars! Faster women! Exotic vacations! Flings with super models! </p><p></p><p>His timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie!!! </p><p></p><p>At midnight, he toasted himself, "What a way to go," and slipped off into what he assumed would be his *big* sleep. </p><p></p><p>To his amazement, he woke up the next morning... He thought he had cheated death! He was invincible! </p><p></p><p>But then the exotic dancer with whom he'd spend the night broke the news... "Honey, better come quick, the pool boy's dead." </p><p></p><p>=====</p><p></p><p>A man stumbles home drunk late one night. His wife suspicious begins to inspect him and finds a red hair on his shirt, and says, “I see you are having an affair with a red head.” The man says; “Oh no, honey.” Next weekend, after nursing a black eye, the same thing happens except that the wife finds a blonde hair on his jacket.</p><p></p><p>This time she says; “I see you are having an affair with a blonde woman.”</p><p></p><p>The man again says; “Oh no, honey.” Next weekend, after nursing a busted lip, the man decides not to cheat on his wife and goes straight home. Well the wife begins to inspect him but finds nothing. Not a single hair. So now she says; “Oh, now you’re banging a bald woman.”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064610846, member: 14320"] The Newborn Baby A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future. One day, he made three predictions: "One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die." Sure enough, a year later the young boy died. The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up is wife with a million dollars in life insurance. A year later she died. The father collected the million dollar insurance benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own death, went on a 364-day binge. Fast cars! Faster women! Exotic vacations! Flings with super models! His timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie!!! At midnight, he toasted himself, "What a way to go," and slipped off into what he assumed would be his *big* sleep. To his amazement, he woke up the next morning... He thought he had cheated death! He was invincible! But then the exotic dancer with whom he'd spend the night broke the news... "Honey, better come quick, the pool boy's dead." ===== A man stumbles home drunk late one night. His wife suspicious begins to inspect him and finds a red hair on his shirt, and says, “I see you are having an affair with a red head.” The man says; “Oh no, honey.” Next weekend, after nursing a black eye, the same thing happens except that the wife finds a blonde hair on his jacket. This time she says; “I see you are having an affair with a blonde woman.” The man again says; “Oh no, honey.” Next weekend, after nursing a busted lip, the man decides not to cheat on his wife and goes straight home. Well the wife begins to inspect him but finds nothing. Not a single hair. So now she says; “Oh, now you’re banging a bald woman.” [/QUOTE]
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