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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064578443" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Brand New CorvetteA senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.This is great, he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.I can get away from him with no problem, thought the man as he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100mph. Then 110, 120 mph.Then he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing. He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man."Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.""Have a good day, Sir."=====The redneck farmer was disturbed when he found his son masturbating several times a day. "Boy, you got to stop that," he said. "Go out and get yourself a wife."So the boy went out and soon found a pretty, young girl to whom he got married. But a week or so after the wedding, the farmer found his son whacking off again."You Crazy boy! the father yelled. "That Lucy Mae's a fine girl!""I know, pop," the boy replied, "but her arm gets tired sometimes."</blockquote>